Monday, July 31, 2006

It is becoming increasingly annoying to have people ask me how my son is doing. I know that is harsh and unreasonable, but its the way I feel. People have no idea how difficult it is to come to terms with the fact that I am basically a friend to my son, not a father. He has a mother and a stepfather who are charge of the day-to-day duties of raising a son. They put him to bed, they wake up, check his homework, organize activities for him, and other things that I am probably clueless about. That is what parenting is about. And then here I come along once or twice a week via phone or email asking him how things are. 90% of my interaction comes that way, with visit sprinkled in at various points during the year. Considering my father laid the blueprint down for what a good father should be, I feel helpless and downright embarrassed that I can't return the favor to my son. It isn't from a lack of trying, but when you "choose" to have a child out of wedlock, and marriage is not a viable option, often times the courts determines your fate. And I am caught in such a web. There are times when I am just downright sad about this situation, and other times I'm at peace with it. The problem is, when people say to me, "Oh so how's Carlton doing?" they never know which side of the spectrum my feelings lie.

3 comments:

Sha said...

Awww :(

i hate when folks ask about ex's too..blah

Anonymous said...

since i fear for my life i won't ask how your son is doing. i will, instead, ask a question that has nothing to do with this blog in an effort to take your mind off the nosey people who don't ask you that question out of general concern for your relationship but rather out of pure nosery. (i've been trying to sound like george bush lately)

so here goes...how do you feel about the new voice of metro? everytime she says step back, i follow up w/my own back the fuck up offa me!!!

Raydiance said...

I think you shied (sp?) away from digging deeper into this...it could be a good piece if you fleshed it out more.

There I left a comment - are you happy? *Snicker*