Every now and then, I do a friend inventory..it is usually when I'm really drunk or bored, on my way home, and scrolling thru my phonebook for someone to talk to or "visit". Upon doing this, I realized that all friends can be placed into categories. I have a few really good female friends who don't live around here, but I talk to often. There is minimal if any flirtation, and me trying to get some is not the motive. I simply talk to them about my problems, listen to theirs, and sometimes we may even share corny jokes, lines from movies, and most importantly music. I don't even really realize that it has been awhile since I've seen them, because the important thing is we help each other out. Actually, come to think of it, I have some friends like that here in the DC area too. Ideally, these friends would take me on their lingerie shopping trips, take me to the dressing rooms, so I could see all the lovely ladies parading around in the nude. That's the best case scenario.


In terms of male friends, I have two or three boys who I can do a two man deal with; meaning I can call one of them up and say, meet me here and let's have a drink, and we can talk and kick it. On the flip side, I have a few male friends who I simply CANNOT do the two man deal with. This is not a indictment on them really, I just know I can't sit with them for an extended period of time, because I would run out of conversation real fast. My only saving grace would be to bring a cheat sheet with conversation topics. These are the friends that only thrive in the group setting. They can't carry a one-on-one convo, but the group setting allows them to sit out a convo or two, and then jump back in when they've gotten their mojo back. I do believe I'm one of these people. I can't carry a conversation to save my life..I'm like the Don Cheadle of friends. I can't really carry a movie on my own, but I"m a hell of a scene stealer. And finally I have friends who I may email every few months, and when we do talk, we have good convos, but there is simply no need to talk every damn day, and this is understood. I like these friends the best, because they give you the best opportunity to shine. They haven't heard the day to day goings on of your life, so they always give their undivided attention. My ego needs that sometimes.

There is one more type of "friend". These are the friends that don't really speak to you on the phone, don't return emails, but when they see you in public, all of a sudden they are your best buddies. They give you all kinds of complicated handshakes and hugs, they ask you "what's been up?" about 300 times, they tell you about their upcoming endeavors, they stare at your girl if you're with one, and then they end the convo by saying, "let's meet up and hang out". And for some reason these friends always wear sunglasses on their head(ok I made that up, but it fit so damn well). I remember there was this one time (at band camp), at a happy hour, when one of my friends did this, and I played along, until he slipped me his card. I politely reached in my wallet, and showed him the card he had given me just a few months earlier. I hope to never be that pretentious..then again I do have a blog so I'm well on my way.

By the way, I'm sending a thank you letter to the people who make AXE body spray. I have some on this morning, and like 5 or 6 women on the train and in the office have already complimented me. I feel like Wilt Chamberlain and its not even 8am yet.