Wednesday, August 23, 2006

I watched part deux of Spike Lee's documentary, and it was more of the same. I'm not here to trivialize his work but it really was more of the same. Day two focused more on the rebuilding efforts in New Orleans, or really the lack thereof. Spike did a good job of trying to be unbiased, but more importantly, this documentary could very well re-spark the debate on what went wrong, and how this can be avoided in the future. Sadly, it also demonstrated the chasm between poor and rich in this country, and the bias against the South. When The Levees Broke, along with the other Spike Lee joints I need to purchase, will definitely be in my DVD collection.

Now, I realized yesterday that one of the biggest assets a man can have is a female friend, or better yet female friends. Yesterday, I was able to call up one of my ladyfriends, and she suggested a meal I can cook for my new female interest. She gave me details on how to cook it, how to marinate it, what the sides should be, and all that jazz. I'm not saying one of my boys couldn't do the exact same thing, but there is no way in HELL I would look at my boy the same if he gave me the same advice. Perhaps I'm homophobic..oh well so be it in this case. This same female friend, along with others, have assisted me with my interactions with women, my family problems, internal issues that I have in my head(that sounds crazy), and any and everything else. And, as an added bonus, these same women talk about what men have done or are currently doing to them and for them. This provides me with a blueprint for what not to do in some cases, and in others it gives me an opportunity to steal ideas from another dude without him knowing(except sex moves..I think my smoke and mirrors routine is just fine). Considering I don't have any sisters or other cousins, my female friends are the closest thing and I appreciate each one of them.

The evolution of my female friends is humorous though. I cannot sit here and honestly say that I have never sexual thoughts towards my female friends. That would be absolutely ridiculous given the high levels of my perversion. I have 3 really good female friends, and I can honestly say that I never tried to sleep with any of them. There was healthy flirtation, but that is it, and that's probably why we continue to be friendly to this day. There have been no awkward moments, no botched sex attempts, and they don't question my motives when we are alone or I give advice. Good times all around. But then there is a group of female friends who I have tried to sleep with, and I've been unsuccessful for whatever reason. These women place me in the proverbial friend zone, and it evolves into a friendship. I don't keep these friends around too long..my ego just won't allow it. Ideally, everyone should want to hop on my manstick...that doesn't mean I'm giving it to everyone, but they should still want it. And if not, then fuck you...or something like that. I also have a few female friends who are just friends, but they are incredibly attractive. These friends come in handy while I'm single, because I can go out with them, attract looks from other women, and then feel guilt free as I ignore the woman I'm with to look at who I'm attracting. This is truly a blessed event, and I recommend it to every man. It's not like I couldn't get these woman to look at me alone, but having a fine friend helps things along greatly....its like taking a Viagra pill while watching X-rated movies..i mean sure you don't need the pill at that point, but is it really going to hurt? Hell no.

I also want to take some time in today's blog to send a shoutout to Andre3000 of Outkast. Thank you once again for single handedly sabotaging Outkast with your dumb ass singing. I'm not saying you can't sing and explore your musical talent, but you have to keep rapping. That's your calling card, that's why folks love you and give you the benefit of the doubt. You are abusing that by acting like a cross between Cab Calloway and Frank Sinatra. Stop it man...just rap. If you want to sing, get an alias, and do it separate from Outkast. And i'm not even saying that at 30 you have to talk about bitches and hoes at this point, but you're smart enough to find another subject to rap about. But this singing must stop. It's not fair to Big Boi, it's not fair to me or your fans.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

STOP!!!

You had me at manstick! YOU HAD ME AT MANSTICK!

Shaun said...

Manstick?! ROFL! You know you wrong for that, right?