Friday, September 29, 2006

I am still pissed and my situation is unchanged, and there comes a point, where you are so angry that all you can do is laugh. A weird calm comes over you, that is downright eerie. I could crack a joke right now just as quickly as I could steal someone square in their jaw. But I've done all that I can do right now, and I still think this entire situation will work out in my favor sooner rather than later; however, today and yesterday have showed me that there are some things that I absolutely DO not care to hear when I'm going thru a situation like this. Such as:

1)"I'll pray for you"..My mother is the biggest violator in this department but there are others. If you are going to pray for me, then just do that shit. Don't announce it to me, because chances are I'm just not trying to hear that. I'm not saying prayer isn't effective, but when i'm pissed or irritated, your declaration of this action ain't helping. I realize in my last entry I asked folks to send good vibes, but that's something that can be done without me hearing or reading about it man. If that sounds hypocritical so be it

2) Don't go down a list of things I SHOULD do..chances are I have already done the things you are suggesting. I did go to college, and I do have a certain degree of intelligence, so I am perfectly capable of troubleshooting in a difficult situation. Plus if I'm telling you my problem, it's because I want to keep you informed, or you asked me. I'm not telling you my problems to get solutions

3) Don't ask me what's wrong every five minutes..that's like asking are we there yet..the shit ain't changed since the last time you asked, and hell no I'm not alright.

That's all I can think of right now. I know this email sounds angry as hell, but that's where I am. Writing is the best way to maintain sanity right now. I could drink or pray (in that order), but I'm saving that for later just in case shit gets worse. I do appreciate the kind comments i've gotten. very much so.


Miss Black River said...

Every effort you are making is worth it. When he's an adult he'll be able to evaluate the situation for himself. You do what you are supposed to and all the others involved will have to answer for themselves.

Jo said...

You are too funny! We think alike . . .I was like . . .that Bi%$h! How could she . . .forget the good vibes . . sometimes you just gotta get pissed . . .and a drink might not be so bad either. Can't wait to find out what happened . . .hope you didn't have to knock anybody out. I'd hate for you to go to jail.