Tuesday, September 05, 2006

The last time I sat here and typed a blog entry, it was cool, rainy and depressing outside. The weekend gave us some damn good weather and good times, and now, the next work day brings more depressing weather. I'm sure there is some kind of symmetry to that, but right now I am just not smart enough to even attempt to figure it out. Days like today, are the kindn that sick and vacation leave were created for, but I braved it out.

I learned a few things about myself over the past few days, and I've decided to comment on those things Larry King style in my blog. I've always admired Larry's writing style of basically stringing a serious of fragments together, and separating them by an impressive array of commas, semicolons and ellipses. And since I am feeling a bit lazy this morning, I thought it would be mighty black of me to steal his style. Sampling if you will..but I'm not a biter, I'm a writer...or something like that

1) It is possible for me to spend an entire holiday weekend with a woman without getting sick of her. I was pretty impressed with her and myself. I didn't want to kick her down the stairs or out of my apt at all. We laughed, we had fun, we took breaks from one another when necessary, we cooked, went to cookouts, drank, read, etc..I think her personality has more to do with it then anything. They were was no nagging, no requests for me to tell her what I was thinking 156 times a minute..no constant personal space violation, just a healthy mix of being in my face and keeping a sufficient distance. I like that

2)My vomiting streak has been halted at 6 years. I was on a Cal Ripken like pace over the past six years..I hadn't vomited, dry heaved or any of that in a long time. But yesterday morning, all of that came to a screeching halt. The combination of lots of cookout food, liquor, and 24 hour stomach virus was just too much for my poor stomach to bear. Vomiting is right up there with being kicked in the groin, and being hit in the face with a football, as one of the worst feelings to have. I felt like even my thoughts were going to come out. I'll spare you the gory details, but it was a bad bad thing

3) I believe I have social anxiety disorder (SAD henceforth) I went to a cookout on Sunday, and I was terrified of all the small talk I had to engage in, even before I walked in the door. Then, upon entering the cookout, I really only had energy to introduce myself to about 5 of the 10-15 people who were there. I just stopped short, and I gave eye contact to the rest of them, and they looked at me like..What the hell is wrong with him. It was only when other guests came in and introduced themselves to everyone, did I feel obligated to complete the introductory process. And even then, the other people were looking at me like I was crazy, but I'm not, I"m just afflicted. Once I sat down, I found myself trying to find a conversation to join. It is almost like a game of double dutch(not that I've done that, but I see things). I watched the rhythm of the conversations, and when I get a certain comfort level, I jump in. Except on this day, I never really jumped in. I would laugh at certain things as I had been a part of the convo all along, and I would nod my head in approval, but no one really heard me say anything. I felt like an autistic man, but again, it wasn't autism, it was SAD.

My only saving grace was the TV in the living room of this house. I was able to successfully gain access to the remote, and promptly turn to ESPN. Now I was in my element. I was able to talk to everyone in my field of view a sentence or two at a time, and then turn back to the TV for 15 minutes..talk a little more, turn to the TV, and it was at this point that I was comfortable. I got up for drinks and food, but for the most part, I stayed in that spot for 3 to 4 good hours. Sadly, I can't count on that type of advantageous atmosphere all the time, but I'll take it.

4) I can't stand folks roll their luggage everywhere. In the airport, I can understand, I do that too. But if you stand about 6'2 and weight a solid 240, and you are dragging a backpack that is smaller than your head, then that is definitely a problem. Plus when you are walking behind these people, it is easy to trip and fall, depending on how slow or fast they are walking. This is part of the lazyification(clearly not a word) of commuters.

5) I now have a personal assistant to assist me with my wardrobe, and she came thru the past two weekends. She helped me pick out brown shoes, and some shirts, so that I can at least look like I'm cool when my SAD affliction clearly indicates otherwise. I look forward to working with her in the fall/winter months

6) I am supposed to meet with my personal trainer today, and due to the weather, I am thinking of all kinds of excuses to cancel. I"ve already cancelled one time for holiday related reasons, so this would be #2. It's not that I'm not serious, its just that the rain renders me lazy and tired. I hope my prospective trainer reads this blog, and calls me to cancel, so I dont have to do it.

Oh and since I've started this blog and sang his praises at the end of July, Tiger Woods has not lost at all, and he's won like 6 million in the process. Not taking credit, just making the observation.


Hannibal said...

this was the super duper edition...

Shaun said...

You have me dying laughter at his whole entry.

Jo said...

Ohmygosh!!! I have SAD, too! It's getting worse and worse as I get older! I hate it . . . you are sooo right, it's like being in a game of ping pong . . .i absolutely hate it. Does that mean we need to get out more or does it mean that we got out enough when we were younger and we are tired of all the ping pong playing? As for Tiger . . .goo dthing you wrote about him, otherwise he would have started loosing again! ;o)