Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Ok, so I have a confession to make. After all that jazz I talked about the Monday Night Football game, not really being much more than a game, I found myself caught up in the moment last night. The juxtaposition of the depressing scenes from 13 months ago, with the frenzied fans who occupied the Superdome last night was quite moving. But as Spike Lee said during his brief appearance in the booth, last night was good, but it is what happens from this point on that is important. I'm not going to go on a rant here today, because I've discussed this subject ad nauseum. But what I WILL bitch about is the decision to include U2 and Green Day in the "Welcome back New Orleans" celebration. I must say I'm not a U2 fan anymore, but I used to be in the mid to late 80s. And Green Day has never tickled my fancy, but I hold no grudge against them at all. But considering the game was in New Orleans, it seems to me better pre-game and halftime acts could have been chosen. They could have picked a teen marching band, Harry Connick Jr., the Marsalis Brothers, Lil Wayne(just kidding), or even some musicians that embodied the New Orleans spirit. Instead they chose two rocks bands..good acts, bad timing.

So tomorrow I leave for a trip to Arizona to see my son Carlton..finally. I must say I have all kinds of mixed feelings about the trip. Don't get me wrong, I am happy to see him, and I can't wait to get into all types of activities with him. But for a long distance parent, there is always a moment of nervousness. I worry that he may resent me for being so far away, and not there the way his stepfather is..I wonder if he'll start to probe deeper into the reasons why his mother and I never were together..and then of course I'll wonder how long it'll take him to completely warm up to me again. I'm probably overthinking these things as usual, but I can't help it. I never take for granted the fact that I'm a parent of a handsome young man, but it still hurts at times that I've missed so much of his life, due to distance and other circumstantial crap. But for a few days, I will put all that aside, and just make the best out of the situation. That's the least I can do.

I am also having mixed feelings about my 10 year anniversary Hampton University homecoming that is coming up in October. Initially, I was gung ho about seeing old friends, going to a game for the first time in awhile, and just being in that atmosphere. But now I don't know. Some of my good friends are either preoccupied with familial obligations, or they just aren't interested, and this has curbed my enthusiasm a great deal. There's nothing wrong with recreating that college magic for a weekend, but the reality is that was 10 years ago, and EVERYONE has changed. Still, I think it'll be fun. As you can see, I dont know what the hell I'm going to do. I think if Carlton were with me, I'd definitely go, take him to the game, and let him see firsthand how uncool his father was in college.

A few people have come to me for relationship advice over the past few days, and it completely blows my mind. I have had minimal success in relationships, yet I'm able to give little nuggets of wisdom to people. I wonder if they ever look at me and say yeah right whatever, and then do the opposite of what I say.

And now, a selection by Sting entitled: Dienda .
While I'm at it, here's the same song, done differently by Branford Marsalis: Dienda, Part deux.


PrettyGirl said...

You're crazy...Green Day's "Time of your life, " is the cut.. U2 i'm not a big fan of either..but i nauseous at the amount of times they showed Reggie Bush when he wasnt doing anything..i was like is this really bout New Orleans...and it's something about every time they say anything about the Superdome..i thought about the awful condition in which they had folks living..I had to change the channel or not tune in too long..

Things with your son will come naturally..and yes u are over thinking. Enjoy yourself. :)

hadassah444 said...

have a safe trip and most importantly let your guards down and have fun.

whatever you do dont take a date to the reunion....

Jo said...

You had me LOL with,"I wonder if they ever look at me and say yeah right whatever, and then do the opposite of what I say." Nuf said!!! Have a safe trip . . .and does that mean you won't be blogging? Oh well, at least it's perfect timing . . .I leave manana as well and won't be back until October 5th. As for the little man . . .remember what I told you . . . Please make sure he can always come talk to you about the X factor.

AmaLotus said...

No matter what his step father may say or do. No matter how much time they spend together. He will never replace you. I agree with the comment always be there for the question and answer. If your child feels like they can't talk to you you have lost them.

Even though you aren't there physically, you could invest in a video camera send him videos( A Day at DADDY's JOB!. Don't lose touch. He is thinking about you just as much as you think about him. He is 10 now right?

He is starting to wonder who he looks likes, Where he came from. And he is asking his mother those questions about why you guys aren't together.

An older man told me that the best thing he ever did for his kids waas treat there mother with the utmost respect. Wether they wer together of not. I don't think you are over thinking. If you weren't asking yourself these questions than I would say you aren't a very good parent.

From one parent to another: Remember to tell him you love him, Be excited simply because he is excited. And act like everything he tells you is the greatest news in the world. He just wants to be special to you.

KAtrina: Oh Boy, I saw the Spike Lee movie today. I'm not usually the kind of person that becomes emotional over a movie, but I did cry. I won't even go into detail if you have seen the movie you know why. As a Black person who can't swim that shit really scared me. I'm learning how to swim.I don't want any force of nature to have control over me if I can help it. What hurt me the most is that I just didn't know how bad it was.

I avoid all unrealiable news stations. So I had very little info before hand, but now that I know I want to help in some way.