Wednesday, October 18, 2006

A friend of mine told me last night, that she doesn't like having discussions related to spirituality and God with me, because I am extremely cynical towards both, and that hurt me a bit. I DO have a certain degree of cynicism towards people's interpretations of the Bible and spirituality, but I'm trying to do a better job of keeping that under wraps. I hear people tell me all the time (my mother leads the charge) that I NEED to be in church, and until I set foot in there, I won't receive all the glory that the good Lord wants and expects me to receive. But I don't like church at all. I don't like getting up, I don't like being around all the people, and depending on how much money is in my wallet, I'm always tempted to "borrow" money from the offering plate. I do attend church occasionally when my mother asks, or when the guilt just overtakes me, but I've never gone consistently. So I think my cynicism lies with church itself..As I get older I wonder if God understands my shortcomings, and still gives me a pass because I do honor him thru fasts, prayers, and occasional bible study. Or I wonder if he's going to tap me on the shoulder and be like, "Rashad, my man, I'm going to need you to find a church and soon". One thing I DO know is that one's relationship with church, God and spirituality is a life-long struggle..and to those people who are further along than I am, be patient or kiss my ass, I'll get there eventually.

I let a long time friend of mine down yesterday, and I feel bad as a result. When you say you're going to do something, and you don't do it, there's always some degree of disappointment. But when you let down someone you've know for a long time(a parent, a friend, my son) the disappointment is magnified. I will make it right very soon, but until then it's just a bit uncomfortable. This is one of those situations I vow never to be in again.

So last night, I watched the VH-1 Hip Honors show, and I really wish I hadn't. I understand the need for hip hop to honored outside the standard award shows like the Grammys, but shows like the one I saw last night, always leave me disappointed. The people who perform never do the songs you really want to hear; artists choose to do a medley of their songs, instead of picking one really good song and performing it well, and I really could go on and on. But instead of being negative, I'll say that I enjoy seeing my favorite rapper of all time: Rakim. Sure he looked a little older, and his breath control wasn't quite as good as it used to be, but it was still good to see him on stage being honored. Rappers don't tend to age well musically, it seems like he has. The rest of the show was just straight garbage.

I need some new recipe ideas man, I'm tired of eating the same thing over and over. Someone send me some please.

6 comments:

Hadassah444 said...

Cynical???

99% of people that attend church either...
go to be seen and dont know what their going for.

I told you before, its not anything that the person does that draws them closer...its God who changes the heart.

When He's ready to use you Rashad, He will and you'll know it....

D-M said...

I made some great lasagne the other day. If you want, I'll share the recipe.

Miss Black River said...

Religion and spirituality are very personal things. Don't feel guilty because of your position, but try to be sensitive to where others are in their walk. If you are feeling guilty quite often you may need to explore your feelings more and look for a new faith. I have a friend who did that and she is much happier as a Unitarian than she was as a Catholic. Smooches.

Miss Black River said...

As for recipes go to www.foodnetwork.com. My favorite shows are 30 minute meals with Rachael Ray and Barefoot Contessa with Ina Garten. The recipes I've tried from them have consistently been easy prep and delicious.

Anonymous said...

Tell me what you've been eating and i'll tell you the recipe for something new............

Jo said...

You said . . ."Depending on how much money is in my wallet, I'm always tempted to "borrow" money from the offering plate." . . .and you had me laughing my ASS off! I always look at the piles of money in the offering basket and my first reaction is . . .why? Most of the people in here are broke and in debt just like me, so they should be giving up there money to ANYONE. But, that's just my opinion. I recently went to a church that had a credit card shredder at the pulpit. The pastor said that if anyone had paid off a credit card and needed to get rid of it or had a payment that had been made in their effort to be debt free, they should bring it up and tithe it . . .as in make an offering with their payment receipt . . . and as he said it, he pulled out a credit card that he had paid off and shoved it down the shredder. He then spoke about the fact that God/Jesus does not want his children to be joked with ANYTHING, including debt, so before we tithe money, even to the church, we need to focus on being debt free. He of course is different from most pastors, because his goal is debt free, not church RICH. I thought the concept was interesting and certainly one I could subscribe to. I have had many discussions with friends in the past on tithing, which I do not do, and until I am debt free, probably won't . . .but I like the concept of donating goods and paying off debts as a form of tithing . . .it makes sense. I also don't believe that God/Jesus ever wanted us to be in debt; I believe he wanted us to get out of it . . .or at least that's my take on the subject. As for church . . .you don't need church to be close to God. All you need is a big heart, lots of compassion, a humanitarian approach to life, and a desire to be a better person in every way . . .that's all you really need . . .church just helps you to get focused, but you can do that other ways as well . . . you can take your pick. Good luck with those recipies!