Imagine having the worst work day of your life on a Monday. You go to work and your computer won't start, then once it does start, you have countless emails that require you to both respond and react; everyone comes in your office to ask how your weekend was, and you have no idea how to explain that you basically sat on your ass; you lose 3 or 4 crucial documents, your boss yells at you as a result, you drop your lunch on a woman's cleavage, and so now her blouse is see thru. And to top it all off, when you are called upon to explain your projects in a meeting, you draw a blank and basically choke. Now after enduring that big bag of wrong, imagine having to go in front of the national media, and explain what the hell happened. That's what my main man Dennis Green, had to endure last night after his Arizona Cardinals blew a 20-0 lead last night, and lost to the Chicago Bears in Monday Night Football, 24-23.

It's not like Dennis could have skipped the press conference last night, because the NFL mandates that all coaches speak to the media after the game, or they will get fined. But I know it must be hard to explain to a bunch of unsympathetic media, who may or may not have even played the game of football, why you choked. And on top of that, often times you have to censor your language, which makes like even more difficult. It almost seems unfair, but the rule was put in place to help the sports writers who would have skimpy articles without quotes from players and coaches, and as an aspiring writer, I can certainly understand that. But as a person with a bad temper, I can also understand wanting to hit each and every one of the sportswriters with a Louisville Slugger. One of my favorite sports conferences ever, was given by NBA player, Rasheed Wallace. He had just been fined for skipping a press conference, so after his next game, he sat down and answered every question by saying, "It was a great game, both teams played hard my man". For 15 straight minutes, he answered every question like that, and then got up and said "Peace!". The humor of this cannot be captured via a blog, and frankly I don't know why I even tried. I'm sure youtube or something has a link or something.

Every morning while I'm trying to type my blog, there is this woman who interrupts me like clockwork. She basically fulfills the black woman at a government job stereotype, and I hate to use that expression, but dammit the shoe fits. She's loud, she bitches about what someone isn't doing for her, she's constantly saying that she's going to leave and get another job, yet when her supervisors come around, she gets quiet and starts to dance. And then I have to hear about her home life, her Washington Redskins(when she clearly doesn't know jack about sports), and it is just annoying. I say this because as I type this, she is talking to me, and I keep looking up periodically to say "really?", "word?", and my favorite, "I told you that bitch crazy". Ok I stole that last one from Chris Rock, but you get the point.