Monday, October 30, 2006

My homecoming/visit with my son weekend was damn good again. I've decided to chronicle that entire day in a log format. Enjoy.

7:30am: My mother and I wake up, and head to Starbucks for the upcoming drive. She flirts with the young West Indian brother behind the counter, I politely excuse myself from the Starbucks premises. Not only is it too early to be trying to get a phone number, but I simply do not need to see this.

7:31: My mother delivers her "we're getting ready to travel" prayer, in a record 45 seconds, as opposed to the marathon 5 minute sessions I am used. The first sign that a good day is ahead

8-9am: My mother and I listen to the Audrey Chapman show on WHUR radio. Audrey is a psychologist who fields phone calls from people who need help with relationships. Today's topic: Are there too few eligible men in Washington DC?. I listen silently, and surprisingly so does my mother. Good times!

9-10am: My mother touched on a variety of subjects during this time from recreational sex, to her upcoming book, to my sex life, and I can honestly say I tuned out about 65% of it. Not much to report here

10:30am: I arrive at my son's residence, and he promptly invites in to play a game of John Madden '07. Now mind you, I haven't played a video game since Tecmo Bowl back in 1991, so I had no idea what the hell I was doing. Carlton gave me a crash course, and I attempted to play him, and he killed me. And he was so gracious in doing it too, he kept saying, "it's ok Daddy I'm really good". Just then, one of Carlton's cousins ran by and kicked the plug right out of the outlet..that was cue to tell Carlton that we needed to go...

11:30 am: Carlton says to me, "Daddy, you should take a different way to the game this time, since you got stuck in traffic before". I look back at him say thank you, and my mother gives me this look that says, "payback is quite the bitch isn't it". I appreciate my son's smarts, but damn let me drive little man

11:45am: We set foot on Hampton University's campus and nostalgia rushes in. There are tailgaters, vendors, current students, recent alumni, older alumni, and damn near ancient alumni walking around in preparation for the football game. I saw and ignored a few people I knew, and I stopped and spoke to others. When I introduced my son to people, and told them he was 9, I could see folks doing the math in their head. My son was giving me the look that I give my mother when see takes me around church..once again, payback is a bitch.

12:00 pm: I take my son to the barbershop. The downside of having a child with a white woman, is that she doesn't really understand how important it is for any child, but particularly a black child, to keep a fresh haircut. It does wonders for the self-esteem, and it fends off the other black kids at school who WILL clown. Once we are in the barbershop, my son gives me his mini scouting report on what Hampton U. needs to do to win. I can barely contain my smile..this is MY child. Sports and all.

12:15pm: My mother bursts in the barbershop like the Kool Aid man, in an attempt to photograph young Carlton while he's in the barbershop. This action of course, breaks all types of barbershop etiquette rules, but I give my mother a pass since she's in the midst of her grandmotherness. A couple of barbershop dudes comment on this, and I explain that she doesn't get many chances to play grandma..Still, Carlton and I got funny looks until we got the hell out of there.

1:00pm: We sit down in the football stadium an hour early, in an effort to get a good seat. Carlton breaks out his scouting report once again, although this time I'm only halfway listening, because I'm too busy scanning the crowd for people I know. This is wrong I know, but dammit, this was my homecoming, and I had already received the Carlton homecoming an hour earlier. My mother was struggling to stay warm in the howling wind, and I felt bad for her.

1:30: The new Jay-Z song comes blaring out of the loudspeakers, and my son knows the chorus. I had mixed feelings about this..then the next song, "Ballin" comes on, and everyone in the crowd, including Carlton does this dance. I bust out laughing, and then I realize that clearly I am out of the cool loop. I've heard this song before, but I didn't know it was this big. After the song ends I have a word with Carlton about cursing, and he tells me that he knows all of the curse words, but he doesn't say them. I hope he's telling the truth

2-4pm: The actual game starts, and Carlton and I converse about defenses, offensive plays, the speed of the running backs, catching the min footballs the cheerleaders are giving and out and much more that I can't possibly capture via a blog. He also tells me that school bores him a bit, and I ask him if he gets straight A's and he says no, so I tell him when he's bored and gets straight A's to come back to me, and then we can talk. We shake hands on the deal. Everyone now and then, I whisper into Carlton's ear, that he should talk to my mother to keep her interested, and he obliged. Such a great kid.

4:15: We leave the game, and on the strip from the field to the car, I see about 7 or 8 people I went to school with, and I ended up doing the very thing that I said in this here blog that I wouldn't. I shook hands, hugged and had convos about the past..I was pissed with myself for giving in, but Carlton turned out to be the perfect excuse to cut folks short. I just told everyone I had to get him back, and they didn't dare question me. Good times once again.

6:00pm: I took Carlton back home, and my mother and I headed home. It was during this ride home that I negotiated my way out of going to church the next day. My mother was PISSED, but frankly I didn't care. I had football to watch on Sunday.

Other weekend observations:

-It seems like most people I went to school with have put on weight, and not in a good way. If I ever needed motivation to get and stay in shape, this weekend was it. Some people have seemingly just said, fuck it, and let themselves go. Now there were a few people who looked damn good, but that was exception, not the norm.

-It is weird to see people in their 30s, who you saw at age 18. Some people like myself have kids, others had wives and multiple kids, and everyone just looked mature and confident. That's a far cry from the wide eyed and confused look we all had has college students. I sometimes make fun of my college years, but for one day, I was proud of what I had accomplished, and the people I had met along the way

-I desperately need to get my custody of my son. Enough said.

-College women don't look like they did when I was in school. They looked VERY mature. There was T&A everywhere, and I know my son caught me looking every now and then. Things have truly changed.

So that's my weekend in a nutshell, I know I'm leaving things out, but I simply cannot recall it all. And now, for nostalgia's sake, here is the FIRST song I heard when I set foot on Hampton Unversity's campus back in 1992. You Remind Me.


hadassah444 said...

Im not saying you cant do it...
but what'cha going do with custody? blog it!!!!

what you didnt praise the Lord, hahaha

I love your mother....

Anonymous said...

in all of my ADD, i couldn't resist stopping to comment on "hey koolaid!!!!" and to let you know that young carlton is cussing his ass off son! but the whole i know them but don't use them thing is classic rashad!


Jo said...

"Payback is quite the bitch isn't it?" Nuff Said - great blog and glad you had a great time this weekend!

Jo said...

"Payback is quite the bitch isn't it?" Nuff Said - great blog and glad you had a great time this weekend!