Friday, October 06, 2006

You ever have a song that is in your head when you wake up in the morning, and you just can't get it out? Well such a thing has happened to me this morning. Two days ago, I went out and bought the newest offering from Lupe Fiasco. Now recently, I've been very skeptical of the hip hop purchases I make. The last rap CD I bought was Game Theory by The Roots, and I still play that do death. As an older rap fan, I can certainly appreciate a group who focuses on good music and better lyrics, as opposed to talking about bouncin' and shootin' and killin' and bouncin'and shit(get down!). Lupe Fiasco(despite the non-sensical name) is a damn good cd, I recommend to any and everyone who was a hip hop fan between the years of '88 and '95. But I digress...I can't get that damn Kick, Push song out of my head. The song is about skateboarding, I've never done it, but it makes me want to run out and do my best Tony Hawk impersonation. Oh, and if you're counting at home, there are 4 hyperlinks in just the first paragraph. I'm coming out swinging today.

I wonder if women go through the kind of thing I went thru last night. I was chilling in my living room, watching the Mets and the Dodgers play, while sipping on vodka and Cranberry, and suddenly a fierce wave of sexual energy came over me. Initially I told myself to ignore it, but it gained more strength, and it went from a tropical storm to a full blown hurricane, so I tried to rectify the situation and moisturize my situation, but to no avail. But I was up until 1 am, thinking about every nasty sexual position I had ever done, and aspire to do. It was torture..like pulling your bottom lip all the way over your head in one swift stroke. I rarely hear women talk about their darker side like this..is it because they have it under control, or does this trait not exist in women? And no this isn't a rhetorical question. I really want to know.

I'd like to take this time to give a special shoutout to Terrell Owens publicist, Ms Kim Etheredge. I know I'm about a week late on this, but I want to commend you on the way you absolutely mishandled that press conference with your client last week. The way you appeared in front of the national media with NO makeup, no attempt to do or brush your hair, and no tact in answering the questions was just marvelous. I heard you tell the media to excuse your attitude and your appearance, because it had been a long night, but HEL-LO? you are a publicist, it is your job to be on point and jammin' on the one. You can't ask for a pass just because you've had a rough night, you aren't representing yourself, you are representing Terrell Owens. And as much as he tends to mess up by himself, you have to be the rock and have some semblance of stability. Instead, you look like a crazy, incompetent woman..so much so, that some folks are suspecting that you are only around because you are giving TO some trim..I wouldn't go that far, but you certainly didn't help your case. And to top it all off, you said TO had 25 million reason not to kill himself. The list of wealthy people who have killed themselves is quite lengthy Ms Etheredge, so when you say that we don't believe you. Plus that 25 million is not guaranteed money, TO can still shuck and jive his way out of it. So here's to you Ms. Etheredge, I'm sure your client base will grow exponentially as a result of your stellar performance.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

It exist greatly. Some women have toys of the latex and male variety to cure those types of cravings..But the difference I think is, women will think once about it and satisfy it. Men will think and think and think..and their window of opportunity will close.

hadassah444 said...

Kick/push...
pick up a skateboard the kids on the little bus will think your so cool, hahaha

Anonymous said...

yup its exists...the only difference I find, men are able to be open about it and women are not...so women keep this very private.

Miss Black River said...

Women definitely get that same jones. I think ours is socially contained because we are taught that sex without love is not the way to go. So our response is handle it with a toy or get a new man to help out.

About TO - that chick is busted and you're right - she was not doing anyone a favor. Image is everything especially in the entertainment industry.

Jo said...

Rashad - i don't know what's up with the women who are commenting right here, but let me keep it real . . . here's how it goes . . .you either pull out the vibrator or turn on the porn flicks and use your hands . . .if you're lucky, you can get in a couple of really good orgasms . . .if you aren't, as was your case, you are SOL . . .you lay there feeling like . . .F@#k! I am so F'ing horny and I can't even jack off . . .you try to calm down and if it's nighttime, you have a restless sleep and hope that you will be so worked up that God will grant you a wet dream. Yes they exist, AND yes women do have them. They are fabulous . . .and oh so real. Some nights I try to sike myslef out and coax a wet dream out before I go to bed by meditating . . .yeah, I know that's probably not likely, but hey, it's worth a try!

LittleTortilla stays in DC said...

There is so much to say here. I'll make it brief. It's easiest to talk about sex. Women do have those moments but some of us have been taught that it is improper and thus quell them. However, when I'm late to work it's usually due to "dealing" with my "improper thoughts".

asabi said...

i know im really late on this subject but I actually grew up with Kim Etheridge. It's always interesting to see someone you know fuck up so bad. I could tell you some stories.