I edited that post I wrote yesterday, which is something I vowed to never do, but considering the nature of the post, it was necessary. I was operating on pure emotion when I typed that entry yesterday, and although I stand by each and every thing that I said, it isn't always just about me(surprise right?). I had not talked to my friend that I was seeing before I posted that blog yesterday, and that was NOT a smart move. That caused me some very uncomfortable moments yesterday, and for that I am truly sorry. Contrary to what was said to me yesterday on a more than one occasion, I do not like drama, and I damn sure don't like confrontation. Unfortunately for me, apparently I don't like to think things thru, which can cause problems. But, the bottom line here is that I'm about to make things work this woman, and there's no way in hell it will be easy, because it hasn't been all this time. But i'm willing to be open to trying. Enough of that shit now.

My friend told me yesterday that had I not messed up and told her that I didn't want to talk to her anymore, she would have given me this as a birthday gift. I'm mad I missed out on that, but I was told from a very reliable source that I may get a regular sized one for my birthday, so I may get one after all. I think I'm the only person on earth who doesn't have one, and considering how much music I have it is long overdue. Plus this will allow me to workout and travel freely without having to lug a big discman around all the time. This paragraph is the first of many attempt to divert attention away from what I posted yesterday. I wonder if its working.

I had yet another proud daddy moment two nights ago when I talked to my son. I had missed a bit of the Florida/Ohio State football game, and I asked my son what had happened, and he proceeded to break down what I missed, who scored, and all that. And he did it in such an efficient manner, and I just smiled. To me, THAT is the reason why you have kids, to hear stuff like that. Actually , i'm sure there are other valid reasons, but that's all I needed to hear yesterday.

Other observations this morning:
-My hands are incredibly ashy this morning. I believe I have mentioned this before, but there needs to be chapstick made for the hands. That way I could just roll it over the ashy spots..

-Whenever you are having a tough day, it is nice to be able to talk to friends. but it is REALLY nice to be able to talk to your boys. If I let other folks listen to some of the things we say, and the way that we say them, i'm quite sure they would be appalled. But damn if it isn't cathartic.

-since i am going to be in this relationship with rosslyn, i have some friends I need to cut back. i have some friends who's opinions i value, and then i have a few friends who i'd try to get with if they left a door open, and that's just wrong..well now it is. three days ago it was all good..hahaha(and yes i'm really laughing). anyway, this will be nipped in the bud (if you're counting at home, this is like the fif time i've used an expression that I really don't understand the meaning behind).

-The year is 10 days old, and already its been quite interesting. i have a feeling this will settle down a bit now.

-if this blog does turn into a book, this will certainly be interesting. Real World doesn't have shit on me.

-I have a degree in English, yet yesterday, while talking to a friend of mine, I used the word "agreeance". I am deeply ashamed.

Here's an instrumental that you can listen to, and hopefully it'll be stuck in your head the way its been in mine this morning.