While dining in my favorite Ethiopian restaurant yesterday, I noticed that one of James Brown's kids, and Al Sharpton were on the Larry King show. Now I usually don't watch Larry King show, because much like Jay Leno, he doesn't challenge the people who come on his show at all. His show is basically a soapbox, for which the guests to stand on and talk about whatever the hell they want. I like hosts who challenge their guests just a bit like Bryant Gumbel, Bill O'Reilly(i can't stand him, but he makes his guests work), and even David Letterman who doesn't just let his guests run all over him. Anyway, since the television was on mute, I decided to let my eyes fixate on the pictures and closed captions. During the interview, they kept cutting away to the creepy picture of James Brown's dead body in the Apollo Theatre. So while looking at that creepy thing, I found myself wondering what I would want my funeral to be like. And no I'm not overly morbid, suicidal, or anything like that, but the stark reality is I will die, and I will have a funeral. So when I do, here is how I want it to go.

One, the casket better be closed. I will designate someone before I die, to make sure the casket is closed, sealed and whatever else. No need to scare anyone. Two, I don't anyone singing at my funeral, because that just leads to a big cry fest, and since technically dying involves me going "home", no tears should be shed. Three, completely contradicting what I just said earlier, I want all of my exes there with their cleavage out falling all over my casket..granted they will be older, so their cleavages will be large, and Aretha Franklin like, but I want them there nonetheless..even if they are married. Fourth, I want my son, my brother and my parents if they are still living(God forbid at that point) to speak..but they are limited to 5 minutes, and that constraint will only need to be applied to my mother who can talk ANYONE under the table(yet another expression that I use, but don't know what it means). And finally, I want two songs played at my funeral. Naima by John Coltrane would be first. This is a slow ballad, and it allow those in attendance to reflect on my ass. And then, to end the celebration, I would want Luchini by Camp Lo. This is completely opposite of the Coltrane song..its festive, its happy, although no one alive really knows the words to that damn song. Still, its a feel good type song. What kind of jackass spend two paragraphs talking about his funeral....apparently I am.

Talk about a tale of two emotions..my friend got back from her winter vacation the same day that I learn that my ex of 6 years is in town for the weekend. The big man upstairs is having a field day with me, and the year is only 5 days old. I'm on top of things though..plus I'm to the point now, that when I make a decision, I can hear each one of my friend's voices telling me what the right thing is to do. One friend's voice resonates a bit louder than all of the other by far(hey Jo!)

Temptations