Wednesday, May 23, 2007

I remember when I was trying to determine the whereabouts of my son, and I blogged about my every emotion and feeling, I was getting on some people's nerves because that's all I wrote about. Eventually I snapped out of it, and wrote about other things. With this current fire situation, it won't be quite as easy to do, because it affects most of my life. So if you're sick of reading about it, or you think I should just get over it already, then perhaps parts of this blog aren't for you. That's my mini-disclaimer.

Yesterday was mentally difficult. I had to leave my friend I had been staying with for a few days, and I felt guilty about that. She said I could stay there with her for as long as I wanted, but I really did need to be solo just to think about things. It's hard to do when you're in the house with someone else. Its also difficult telling the story over and over again of how your apt. burned, because I really am not over it. There are times when I get upset telling the story, and I feel like crying(sorry fellas) At one point last night, while talking to my ex about this situation, I really did break down for about 10 minutes, so hopefully that part is out of my system. Its difficult telling people to send money when they ask how can they help, and then there's awkwardness when doing that with people you don't really know. Then I am paranoid about the sincerity of my thank yous, especially from folks who think i'm on smartass mode all the time. All these thoughts go through my mind constantly, meanwhile, getting to sleep is torture. I hear sirens/firetrucks and instantly I go to the window, and I'm having all kinds of dreams about being chased, being shot, etc. I see how folks who go through something difficult turn to drugs and alcohol, just to rid their mind of these thoughts and to get some peaceful sleep. I fought the urge to go that route, but I can't say it hasn't crossed my mind. And yes I am venting excessively right now, this blog is my outlet and right now I truly need it.

The good things...I moved what I have left of my belongings into Nina's place, and that'll be my home for the next few weeks, so that is of some comfort. My uncles are going to further assist me in the clothes department, and some of my co-workers are going to assist me with various things from money to a charger for my laptop, so that's helpful. I can't stress it enough, I never realized how good my friends(I knew it about family)were until this. They have REALLY helped out and I owe them big time. End of the fire talk.

I missed the revealing of the NBA Draft Order last night, so before I went to bed I turned on ESPN, and I was shocked to see that Portland and Seattle would be picking one and two respectively. I know my favorite writer, Bill Simmons and other Boston Celtics fans are devastated right about now. They allegedly lost games on purpose just so they could put themselves in position for those first two draft picks, and now they are forced to pick fifth. They will still get a great player, just not of the caliber of Greg Oden and Kevin Durant. I can't wait to read more reactions from Celtics fans.

My barbershop trip yesterday was hilarious, and the best part of my day. Because I came in there around 1130am my barber joked that I must have gotten laid off. When I told him what happened to me, he asked was I alright and if I needed anything, and that sympathy talk lasted all of about 10 seconds. After that he told me I would get no sorrow from him, and my haircuts were STILL going to be $20, and the ongoing bet we had on the NBA Playoffs was STILL on. He actually said some other things, but they can't be written on this here family blog.

By the way, I mentioned this earlier, but I'm going set up registries at some stores for those of you who want to help. And if you don't want to, PLEASE don't feel guilty or bad. I know how it is to want to help, but you really aren't in a position or you just DON'T want to help. I don't begrudge those folks at all.

Hey Joe - Jimi Hendrix


Bashful said...

Hey Rashad! Hang in there all will be well in due time. Let me know where you are registered. :)

Wynter said...

Ok so even though I don't "know" you, I feel like I do. My prayers are with you. Just try to remember a few things: 1. People don't offer to help in situations like this if they don't really want to and if they don't but still offer, its on them so take it! and 2. Though you don't see it at the moment, in a few days, weeks, month, this will be just another thing that makes you who are, a moment in time that stretched, strengthened and motivated you to get where you are (will be).

Jo said...

Glad you told the barber . . . I was sure he could make you laugh!