My boy Cliff called me a short time ago, and asked me if i had ever considered joining the military and I told him hell no. He admitted that he had thought about it, but it was never anything he had actively pursued. Cliff and I grew up in an era where the military really wasn't talked about a whole hell of a lot. Yeah the Gulf War was going on, but it was thought to be a quick war, and the idea of high school and college teens joining the armed forces wasn't stressed and harped upon the way it has been since this war in Iraq began in '03. If I got drafted I'd definitely fight, I wouldn't try to run or dodge the war or anything, but if given a choice, I'd opt not to fight. I don't have that overwhelming urge to combat the troops for fight terror on the front lines, and Cliff and I were discussing if as men, that makes us less masculine or inferior to those men who fight and die in the name of this country. Judging by our conversation, there is no right or wrong answer, but it is definitely fitting that we were having this discussion on Memorial Day.

the issue of what a man is or is not, is a very interesting one. I thought about this today while attempting to re-spark the fire in the grill at my mother's house. I was about to put more coals in the fire, and my friend suggested that I just move the coals around to generate more heat and I did so. I didn't feel bad at all about not knowing and I joked around with her that clearly I wasn't a grilling expert and she laughed and said clearly. Does that mean I'm less than a man? One ex of mine thought so, and she gave me a hard time with this before. But a woman telling me what the proper characteristics of manhood are, is always problematic to me, so it never really bothered me. A woman certainly has a right to voice what she wants in HER man, and as a man I have the right to say eff you and leave, or I can say baby I can work on it. I hope my attempt to differentiate between the two was successful. I don't have a distinct point right now, I'm just sharing my thoughts and the day's conversations. Perhaps it'll spark dialogue in your neck of the woods.

By the way, I did end up making some magical turkey burgers on the grill..and all type of thoughts went thru my head, from my apt fire, to some inappropriate fire jokes..I think i'm getting more comfortable with this situation mentally.