Thursday, May 17, 2007

Talk about confusing. As I walked in my building, I saw a young woman with a short sundress on walking with a cane as her cleavage and breasts spilled out of the top. I wanted to look away, but I just could not, and neither could the few guys around me. If I had a camera phone, I'd take the picture and put it up here.

One of the more frustrating things to do in life, is to make people appreciate things with the same amount of passion as you do. Ideally you really shouldn't force feed concepts, ideas, people or anything down someone else's throat(or anywhere else), because it really is selfish. But every now and then you come across something you think is great, and immediately you want to share it with someone, but you never really get that fulfillment you seek. The person you share this passionate information with may not really care, they may not see what you can see(you're blind baby), or maybe they see why you liked something, but their reaction just isn't the isn't what you were hoping for. This happens on a daily basis with me, whether it be that I Want You blog blog I wrote a couple of weeks back, an article I read that I try to share, or with those songs I put on the bottom of most blogs I write. Its like you want someone to see these things, then call you up and say oh snap, I saw that article/song, and I liked a, b and c. Again is it fair? On some level no, but that doesn't stop me from chasing this reaction. Its no different than sharing an inside joke with one of your friends, and then attempting to take that joke mainstream by sharing with another group of friends. Somewhere along the line the humor gets lost in translation, and instead of trying to make everyone think its funny, you probably should just cherish the inside joke you have with that one person. I'm starting to lose steam with this point, but I hope the main idea shines through at this point.

And now for the latest in my social anxiety disorder. On Saturday, I have been cordially invited to a birthday dinner/party. The first part of the evening is a sit down dinner and then it spills over into a party at a lounge. The lounge portion of the evening intrigues me, because I can sip drinks, watch the TVs, and dart and dash in and out of any conversation I damn well please. The dinner portion of the evening terrifies me. I know exactly 2 people who are going to be at this party, and one of them is the birthday girl, so that doesn't count. So I'll be seated near folks I don't know, and forced to come up with some small talk. When I share this with some of my friends, they feed me that line, "Oh Rashad that's part of being adult", and those people can kiss my black ass two times. I realize its a necessary evil, but I hate it, and I almost want to write down a list of topics I AM comfortable with, so I can lead and dictate the conversation. Because if we start talking about Imus, or the state of hip-hop, or how Bush sucks, or even American Idol, I think i'm going to flip the table, and start screaming wake up like this is the end of School Daze. This is why I cancel on so many public events at the last minute, because I start sizing up the small talk possibilities and it drives me crazy. As my boy Kevin says, I probably need to grow up a bit...doubt it though.

Tamborine - Prince


TM said...

I can't help you with this one. I have similar issues with group things. I always convince myself to go by thinking that you never know, you may meet that one person that will serve a great purpose in your life (possible mate, employment connection, great friend). If you aren't enjoying yourself, simply dip out (after dinner of course).

Bashful said...

Rashad they do have medication for social anxiety... you might want to try that.

Anonymous said...

don't take any meds, rashad. they can jack up your sex life: lack of desire, delayed orgasm, ejaculation failure, impotence.

Jo said...

Dang, I waited too long to read your blogs and now I can't get the songs OR the pictures! Dang that sucks.