Saturday, May 26, 2007

Thanks to my uncle, I was able to spend the night in a hotel last night. I don't care what the situation is, there is nothing like staying in a hotel. The fluffy pillows, the room service, hearing folks have sex, having sex yourself, and of course the "movie" channels. All for a good family rate of $49. Oh yeah and they free have continental breakfast too...

I am in the process of reinventing my wardrobe, which means I have been out of several dressing rooms over the past few days. I have a distinct disdain for the whole dressing room experience. I live in constant fear that the woman who assigned me the "stall" is going to barge in on me while my pants are around my ankles, which is never a good look. Then for some reason, nothing seems to fit right in the dressing room, but I buy it anyway hopefully it will magically morph into the right size later. And on top of that, the mirrors are never normal sized. I always have to contort my body in a special way, just to see all of my body parts in the prospective clothes. This is another situation where i would love to hire a gay man(they seem to have the fashion game down to a science), get him to send an attractive woman to measure me, and then together they could go shopping for me. That would officially make me a diva.

I had my first "I had a fire in my apt" moment yesterday..There was this woman following me around the stores as I was looking for clothes, and she just happened to be stunningly attractive. She said she was shopping for her husband, but every time I turned around, she was right there next to me. At one point she asked me why I had so many items in my hand, and I said to her, I just had a fire in my apt, and immediately her face dropped and she gave me a hug on the spot. Beautiful breasts that initially I had to sneak to look at, were now pressed against my chest all warm and full. I'm not making light of my situation, but dammit humor(and cheap, easy breasts feels) are good ways to cope.

Love for Free - Rell featuring Jay-Z


TM said...

I'm really not feeling you referring to yourself as a "diva" but I sure would love to have a personal shopper and designer.

Jo said...

So, did you get her number?