Thursday, June 07, 2007

It is a weird thing attending an event where people who read your blog are in attendance. I am used to saying exactly what is on my mind, but in these instances doing that can get you in trouble with people who know and like you. Well then I guess I'm just going to be in trouble..

The fun began before the party actually started, when my father called me and said he was attending the party with his ladyfriend. I'm pretty sure he knew how this would affect my mother, but I sincerely doubt he truly cared. When my mother called to confirm the time of the party, I told her that her ex husband would be rolling in with a lady, and she said she didn't care at all. I sincerely doubted that was true too. The last time my father brought someone, and my mother did not, was during my college graduation and that didn't go over too well, so this was in the back of my head as I headed to Posh.

I arrived at the spot at 7pm, just like the invitation said, and I realized a few things. 1)I was nervous..like REAL nervous. 2)I was the first one to arrive at my own party..which is just like me. Either I don't show up at all, or I get there early or on time. I have no sense of social timing. And the third thing I noticed was how nice it was inside. About 10 minutes after arriving, my friend Aisha sat next to me at the bar, and the first thing SHE noticed is how talkative I was, and I politely explained to her that this behavior was truly an anomaly. When I'm nervous, I drink water like I'm in the Boston Marathon and I talk like Joan Rivers on the red carpet. It was actually kind of funny though, because Aisha and I work about 5 minutes away from each other, yet we never meet for lunch or anything, but here we were chatting it up like old friends. Good times. We both commented that the music that was playing during that time was perfect for an extended tantric sex session. I wish I had a clip of it to play, because it was strange indeed. As was the maitre d', who looked like a character out of Beetlejuice.

Over the next 30-40 minutes, the bulk of the party attendees came in, and this is when my nervousness really kicked into high gear. Even though I was repeatedly told during the day, and even during the party to relax and enjoy the night, there was no way in hell I could do that right away, and the people who suggested that clearly didn't realize how wired and nervous I was. Whenever a group of friends get together, you worry about how folks will socialize, you worry about there being absolute silence, you worry about putting face time in with everyone at the party, and on top of those typical worries, I had to make sure my mother was comfortable with the fact that my father was there with another woman. **As an aside, let me just say that my father's tie, ALSO looked like it was taken from some Beetlejuice extras. Very unplayer.** Anyway, despite my nervousness and fears, the people at the party did just fine on their own. People talked, ate, drank, laughed and all that good stuff. My friend Darnita was gracious enough to float around and take both flattering and unflattering pictures of everyone in the room.

The most nerve wracking part of the evening, was coming up with a speech. I really didn't want to say jack, not because I wasn't grateful, because I absolutely was. People brought gift cards, slipped me money in my pocket and in my hand, bought me glasses of wine, gave me hugs with their bountiful breasts pressed against me, and they made me feel very special and loved, and that was priceless. I was determined not to cry or anything like that, but I was overwhelmed with emotion..and nervousness. So all night I was trying to think of something to say. I wanted to be serious, but I wanted to break that seriousness up with a joke. So right before the speech, I went downstairs in the bathroom, and hyped myself up like Eminem in 8 Mile before that final battle. It was very intense. Ok I'm lying it wasn't THAT intense, but still..I gave a 20 second speech. I thanked folks, let them know how lonely I felt when the fire happened, and how everyone there had directly and indirectly helped me to feel loved, and then I told them that I would NEVER be this nice to them(that KILLED son!!), and that was it..end of speech. I didn't thank my mom and dad, I didn't thank Dana who organized it, or Curt who reserved this particular club, or Darnita who was graciously taking picture. Very unclassy on my part, and I felt bad. Other observations from last night:

-My father's ladyfriend tripped and almost fell over someone's laptop. It is sad that when something like that happens, your..ok MY first inclination is to laugh and laugh again. And I was on the verge of doing so, especially since it was clear she was ok. But I was sitting next to my dad when this happened, and he gave me this look so I decided that may not be the best move.

-The CEO of the company I work for showed up and completely shocked me. He also gave me the strongest handshake I've ever had in my life. Any nervousness I may have had that night, he squeezed it out and then some

-I somehow had to pay for $50 worth of items I didn't even order, because the waiter was confused as to who ordered and paid for what. I'm glad I had it..because if I didn't, it would have been PERFECT time to break out my I-just-had-a-fire-I-have-nothing-I-am-so-confused speech.

-At one point last night, three women that I have had sex with were in the room at the same time. I invited pretty much everyone that I know to my party, so that was bound to happen I guess. But its a weird feeling. I already imagine people naked at parties like that, but to be RECALLING was pret-tay, pret-tay weird.

-Instead of a basketball game, Law and Order was on tv. its amazing how everyone knows this show, knows the characters, and all that. As Aisha said, this show must make a killing in syndication, because it is ALWAYS on, and much like Seinfeld reruns, you can watch them 5 and 6 times and it never gets old.

-I told someone this privately, and I have no problems saying it on this blog. When my father is around, I feel invincible man. I feel like I can give speeches, work the room, be friendly, picture folks naked, and not miss a beat at all. Its not that I lack confidence without him, its just that he makes everything easier. My mother has that same effect to a lesser degree, but there's nothing like the man who raised you being around.

-Towards the end of the night, my brother sent me a simple text. "I love you man". Normally I will tell him how ghey that was, but on this night that message was right on time.


But on a very serious note, I am TRULY a lucky and blessed(can I say that twice in one week?) man. So many people go thru personal tragedies, and they have no family, no help, no nothing, and they feel isolated on top of everything else. I have had my bouts of depression, anger and loneliness since this happened, but overall, I have had plenty of friends and family get my back and I feel very special. And when my book comes out, I want all of them to CONTINUE to make me feel special, and buy it, because there will be a dedication to each and every one of you.

Oh yeah, and the night ended with four shots of Mr. Johnnie Walker....black..

You Got me(instrumental)-The Roots

5 comments:

TM said...

Glad you enjoyed yourself. You are truly blessed with great friends and family as I already suspected. Thanks for the invite.

hadassah444 said...

Rashad, you get props for looking on for your mother.

LittleTortilla stays in DC said...

It was nice to actually talk to you. Let's go to lunch :)

Sha said...

Good Times...
And your were in rare form..
See being social suits you!!! You have no disorder...

and as for tonights game...WE ARE ALL WITNESSES!!

Jo said...

Man . . .that was a GREAT! Entry . . .I am really glad you had a good time. Wish I could have been there.