Sunday, July 08, 2007

I watched my mother preach again today, and it never gets old. not at all. I always get nervous watching her, because I want everything to go smoothly, and I want everyone within the church to pay attention to the message she's trying to convey. I even found myself getting defensive when I would see folks nodding off, or talking during her sermon, which is ridiculous, but that's how much I want people to listen to her. She ended up doing a fantastic job(unbiased opinion). She spoke about praising God, even when in the midst of difficult situation, and her sermon was peppered with references to me and conversations she and I had regarding the fire and what lessons i was supposed to learn. And sometime during the sermon, it hit me that she really is leaving the area. It's not a BIG deal, because Greensboro is about a 4-5 hour drive away, but i'm used to her being 20 minutes away. It's kind of sad, but to dwell on that would be incredibly selfish. So by the end of her sermon, I decided to just chill out, enjoy her company before she leaves, and make it a point to visit often. That's all I really can do.

Oh and I was having all kinds of dirty thoughts in church..x-rated stuff too. At this point, I don't even try to fight it anymore. I'm a pervert, i'm in church, bad things are bound to happen right?

I'm really giving more and more thought to stopping this blog in a couple weeks. As my friend Jolanda said yesterday, its not quite the same as it was when I started. I am going thru somethings now both good and bad, that I like keeping to myself. Not to mention, therapy has become my outlet moreso than this blog. There's no way in hell I am going to stop writing, but it may be more infrequent and definitely less personal. Of course, I could change my mind at the drop of a hat too. who knows..

3 comments:

tia said...

boo, negro. boo.

Anonymous said...

i think it would be a shame for you to stop writing your blog. i think what makes your blog so good is that it is personal. i'm sure that i'm not the only reader that sees a bit of him/herself in your blogs. i mean come on, who hasn't had dirty thought or two in church. your blog reminds us of the human-ness in us all, and that we're not as crazy as we think.

so that was plea for you to not stop writing your blog, but if you plan to make it less personal or non-personal than perhaps you should. plus, you have inspired a lot other people to write blogs so you can't stop now, rashad. you're like the Godfather of Blogs - haha.

lex said...

No Rashad. Not like this. I won't let you.

no pressure of course...