Let me preface this entry with some good news..I have been in therapy for the past couple months, and I have made great strides with reconciling some things from my past, and I have definitely come up with coping mechanisms to keep my temper in check in real life situations. Unfortunately, I have no such effective mechanisms to keep my temper in check while playing basketball on the court.

Yesterday, I found out about an open gym in Adams Morgan that brings some pretty stiff competition. I actually played outside for about an hour, and then one of the gentlemen my age told me about the competition inside. The ages of the kids ranged from 15-40, and everyone looked talented for the most part. 90% of them were black, and there were also some white kids sprinkled in there as well. I jumped in head first, and for about 2 hours I was playing full court basketball. Well at one point, this gentleman named Chuck, kept asking me over and over if I knew who he was(I found out later he's a DC playground legend named Big Chuck..he was about 34). I kept saying I had no idea who he was(except my retort was filled with expletives) but at this point it was still a playful, talking jive type of banter. Then he said something about my lips, and then I said something about his mumble mouth method of "talking" and everyone on the sidelines laughed, but he did no such thing. So, the next time down the court, when I jump up, he deliberately steps on my foot, which basically strains my groin out of shape, and it hurt like hell. Even his own teammates told him to chill, but I said I was fine..but this is when my temper kicked in..so when one of his teammates missed a shot, i jumped up, grabbed a rebound, and made sure my elbow landed squarely on top of his head. Of course this is when he came after me, and I was ready for his ass, but the older gentlemen stepped in, and checked BOTH of us, and threatened to send us off the court. We finished the game(my team won) and I gave the dude a faux handshake/hug combination, and I ended playing a couple more games before I left. But I was still mad, and I stayed that way later when I met up with my friend..I need to let things go, although I don't regret my on-court behavior..I just regret carrying with me after this dude left and into the rest of my evening.

Plus, my need to prove my basketball prowess, goes back to when I was younger and in college, and I was told I couldn't really play ball, because I was suburban and not "hood" enough, and that used to make me angry, especially when it was clear I was as good, if not better than some of these dudes. There were elements of that at work last night, and I proved myself again but I resent that notion sometimes, although it only rears its ugly head in a competitive nature. Oh well..next time I can handle it better. This morning all I have to show for it, is this blog entry, and an incredibly sore body.

Code Of The Streets - Gangstarr