Friday, October 19, 2007

I do my very best to avoid speaking about the fire and the fallout I continue to feel from it, because I know it can be depressing to read about. I try to save that talk to those very close to me, and the therapist. But this morning I happened to glance at the date, and I noticed that it happened five months ago today, so I am going to speak on it a bit.

Since the fire I have accrued quite a bit of things that I lost. I had clothes to last me through the summer and fall, I have bedroom furniture, towels, linens, etc. I haven't had the heart to start replacing the record collection I was building before the fire, and I haven't bought another record player. I can't even remember all of the books I had, and I haven't had the time to call and replace my birth certificate. Sometimes when I wake up I think of something like an article of clothing or a cd, or a picture that I think I still have only to remember that it is long gone. I continue to wonder in my mind if I'm taking too long get over this, or am I doing the typical man thing and downplaying my emotions to the fullest. I don't think I'll ever have the answer to that. I'm not even going to say I'm depressed about this situation this morning, because I'm not. I'm just reflecting on how I feel about this five months later, and when will I be able to completely get over this.

Visions - Stevie Wonder


GemEnigma said...

Personally, (at the risk of sounding like your therapist) I believe it's healthy to recognize your feelings and to express them. Keeping them in only leaves a breeding ground for stress, high blood pressure, etc.

And as for how long it will take....the ONLY answer to that is however long it takes YOU. Nothing deep or philosophical. Just real. You can't compare your time to anyone else's. If you still feel it 3 years from now, it's okay. As long as you recognize your emotions and allow them to be expressed. It's like grieving....

maxwellsmusze said...

Wow! Yeah, what she said above.

Stay up Baby Boy:)

lex said...

Visions is a great great song.

As far as the fire...dude. I don't know that i really could say anything that doesn't sound trite. And i don't want to come off that way because thats not how i feel.

But like was stated above(and i doubt i could put it any better), however long it takes you to get over it - or indeed if you never do - its okay. the grieving process doesnt have a time table...and you can't force it.

*hugs* stay up