Tuesday, December 18, 2007

So this morning, as I sip my Chai Latte from Starbucks, one of my co-workers comes into my office to talk for a bit. And after she says good morning, the first thing out of her mouth, is that my intern is coming back. You may recall I had an intern helping me out this past summer, and his behavior varied from mildly responsible, to just downright negligent, and I took great joy in besmerching his name on this blog. I tried to give him juicy nuggets of wisdom this past summer by leading by example, and giving him mini pep talks. Apparently I failed, because he ending leaving quite unceremoniously on August 24th. So you can imagine my surprise, when I heard that he would be back for a return tour of duty. I know I'm a contractor and not an official government worker, which means my opinion holds little weight in this matter. But I still think I should have been consulted on this, but I was not.

Now, I have no other choice but to be hard on the young chap when he comes back. No small talk, no pleasant salutations, no stories of his non conquests of women, just do what I ask you to do, have a coke, have a smile, and shut the f**k up. The only way I'll forgo that line of thinking, is if he comes in and apologizes for his shady ways, offers to buy me lunch, and gets me a xmas gift. I think that's fair. In return, I will offer to make that trip to the barber shop that seemed to elude him the entire summer. He had NO shape up at all, and if you need a visual of what no shape up looks like I present you with exhibits a)Larenz Tate from Love Jones and b)NBA player Ron Artest. In this day and age, there's no reason for a grown man, to have a low haircut, and no shape up. Now the two gentlemen I have linked are both rich, so they can get away with it. My intern cannot. I am rambling now, so I shall stop.

One thing I've yet to think about is what if he reads my blog, and comes in here with printouts of everything bad I've ever said to him...


Looking at the Front Door - Main Source

8 comments:

Sha said...

awesome...let the games begin

maxwellsmusze said...

OMG!!!!!

i cannot believe they are letting that assclown back in the building. i can't believe he'd have the nerve to come back.

tia said...

looking at the front door might be my favorite hip hop song ever.

Kawana said...

LMAO!!! Yeah you were reckin on this dude all summer but maybe he's learned something in the past couple months. Maybe he has a shape up.

~k

Bashful said...

Wow! I can't wait to read Chronicle of a Way Ward Intern. LOL! If he comes in and slaps your printed out words about him on your desk, just politely tell him to shut the hell up and do his work then blog about it immediately afterwards. LOL!

lex said...

HA!

the intern is heading str8 to the larder and is gonna unleash a tin of whipa$$ on you

yeah buddy, you may want to start coming into work wearing chainmail.

LittleTortilla stays in DC said...

If they let the shitty intern comeback....just think about all the shitty employees you must work with. You know we are looking for a Sr. Writer over here.

Janelle said...

Why is anyone surprised that the intern is coming back?? If our intellectually challenged "leader" got to remain in the White House, why wouldn't the intern get a second shot??? The beauty of the beaurocracy of the government. hahahahahaha