Thursday, January 31, 2008

As I have mentioned many times before, I now walk a mile and a half to work everyday. I would much prefer to run, or to lift weights, or to even skip rope, but my mysterious back ailment prevents me from doing that, and I've yet to be medically cleared. So even on a brisk winter 20 degree morning, I still venture out into the cold to do my morning walks. I generally walk the same path, and this path takes me past numerous gated embassies, churches and important buildings. One of the gated embassies I walk past, is the Australian embassy. I usually briefly glance at the building and then I continue walking, while listening to some groovy tunes with the volume moderately high on my IPOD. As I stepped by, I noticed something scurrying behind the gates, but I made nothing of it because after all, it was early in the morning and clearly I don't have all my faculties(or my students). But then out of nowhere, a squirrel comes bursting from behind the gate, and blocks my path.

Now, I consider myself a man's man, and had that been a rat, bird, cat, or even a dog, I would like my odds in a fight. I could step on rat, punch a bird, kick a cat, and gouge a dog's eyes out, and keep stepping to work like nothing happened. But squirrels my friends, are a different breed. What's the scouting report on squirrels? They can jump, they change direction in an unpredictable fashion, they have decent foot speed, and they can harvest their nuts.. What's the scouting report on me at 7 in the morning? I'm cranky, i'm cold, my back is bad, and the volume on my ipod is so loud, that I am extremely vulnerable to squirrel attacks. So I stared my furry friend in the eye, to see whether he would move, or make me to do the honors. I started to go left, and the squirrel did the same, and then we both stopped. I was slightly scared at this point, because in mind I thought that it would be just my luck, if I got the one squirrel that decided they wanted to challenge and take down a human. So I went left again, and this time the squirrel went right, and we both quickly stepped past one another. But after about 10 steps or so I turned around, I noticed the squirrel did the same, although my furry friend was one its hind legs giving me the side eye. I wanted to say, "You got the juice now squirrel"..but people were walking toward us, and then people would think this was Dr. Dolittle situation.

By the way that whole confrontation happened in less than 15 seconds.

One on One - Hall and Oates


tia said...

i was in a summer program at rutgers when i was in hs and we had to walk through a wooded area to get from classes to the dorm. one day a squirrel jumped on my roommate's head. i missed the whole thing but the re-telling of the story was marvelous.

Sha said... got the juice now? *dies laughing*

i got deebo'ed for my sammich by a squirrel on campus :(

lex said...

lol @ you being vulnerable to squirrel attacks

im assuming you've had a squirrel stand off before?

per george costanza, we don't have a "deal" with squirrels so you should have tooken him out - im sure you could have bested him.

btw is that *the* Jersey in your profile pic? Dope.

Miss Black River said...

Too funny!!

Jo said...


Too funny Dr. DoLittle! Look at you convening with nature!

Sounds like you live in a POSH neighborhood, too! Squirrels that are brave enough to one-up you?

And glad you are still getting your exercise on! Good FOR YOU!