Tuesday, January 08, 2008

I have watched all the Presidential debates that have been on television over the past few days, and I have decided that when I grow up I wanted to be a debate moderator for no other reason than to show the candidates and the world exactly how it should be done. Watching some of these debates is like listening to Roger Clemens and his boy talk on the telephone. Lots of things are being said, and there is posturing on both sides, but the RIGHT questions are not being asked, and bullshit answers are considered to be acceptable. Whether it was Chris Wallace or Charles Gibson, it just seemed like the moderator's job was not to moderate, but to basically ask dumb questions and then get bombarded with long-winded answers. I know and understand that the candidates are supposed to be the stars of this show, but at some point, all you hear from them is campaign speak, not real answers. So I have devised a list of rules that I will enforce when I allegedly moderate the presidential debate later this year:

1) I control the microphones of all the candidates(more on that later)
2) Please answer all questions with a "Yes" or a "No" and then go into more depth. No vague or nebulous answers will be accepted, and failure to comply with cause me to turn your mic off.
3) No finger pointing. And when I saw finger pointing, I don't mean don't accuse other candidates of doing anything wrong, because that is what makes a debate good. I'm talking physically pointing fingers, or clasping your thumb and your index finger when you think you making a good point. You aren't a crip, you aren't a blood, and you aren't a Roc boy, so I don't expect to see those types of gang signs. Just say your piece and move on
4) No applause seeking statements. I've seen debates when a candidates says something, and then kind of waits with a pregnant pause waiting for the audience to chime in..if they happen to applaud then fine. But save those pauses for your first inauguration or State of the Union address when that type of thing is standard procedure.
5) When the moderator says your time is up, then your time is up. Don't try to son the moderator by saying, "no let me finish", because your sound will be cut quicker than Kanye's was after slamming Bush. I will say that it is a moderator's job stay out of the way when a good dialogue is jumping off, but at some point enough is enough, and the candidates need to accept that. They can save the rambling 20 minutes speeches for the individual stops they may make on the campaign trail.
6) You don't get to know the questions ahead of time. If students in school can have impromptu tests, and then goddammit, the president-to-be should have impromptu questions. If this process was in motion back in 2000, we could have weeded out Bush's inept ass a long time ago

That's all I have right now, I'm sure someone will chime in with something more intelligent for me to add.

Grand Finale - The D.O.C. featuring NWA

The D.O.C.'s first album is one of the 10 greatest rap albums ever made in my humble opinion. If it weren't for the car accident that mangled his voice, he would be known as one of the best rappers of all time. Instead, all we have is this cd, and the various songs he ghostwrote for NWA, Dr. Dre, etc. This particular song is my favorite one off of his first cd. Lots of cursing, but lots of good rhyming..it also features a hungry, 1988 version of Ice Cube.


Sha said...

This is way off topic...but last night i saw that jarvic commercial..and now i cant watch it the same..thanks!

maxwellsmusze said...

"You aren't a crip, you aren't a blood, and you aren't a Roc boy..."

Stick a fork in me! BWHAHAHAHAHA!

hadassah said...

LOL, I agree with you completely! Candidates really can't be honest, if you don't catch them off guard.

lex said...

number 4 is great. I hate those applause pauses lol