Thursday, January 24, 2008

So all day yesterday, I was a bit nervous about my MRI appointment. It wasn't only the fact that this was my brain they were looking at, but having an MRI involves being still in a tight space for a long time. I did a little research, and I spoke to people who had been through this before, but it really did little to calm my nerves. So as I walked into George Washington University Hospital, I was extremely nervous.

As soon as I got to the desk, they explained to me that they were ready for me, and I was whisked to the back. Once I was in the back, they gave me a gown and some booties for my feet, and they asked me to change. It was at this point, when I became paranoid about the possibility of my arms and legs being painfully ashy. I moisturize my situation each and every morning, but often times, when put up against sub freezing temperatures, this lotion simply cannot last. So I fearlessly changed into the gown, but I refused to take my underwear off. One never knows how nervousness is going to affect one's genitals, so I thought it was best I kept those on. The nurse agreed. Next step? The MRI itself.

Now I voiced my feelings of nervousness to this nurse and she basically said, "Just man up and lay down", so I did just that. She gave me earplugs to mask the loud sounds of the MRI machine, she squeezed my head into this contraption, and then moved something over my head. She then asked me to be very still and slid me back into this large machine. I couldn't see much ,and the position I was asked to hold still in was very uncomfortable. Before they slid me in(sounds dirty) I asked them how long I wouldd be in this machine and they said about 30 minutes. Luckily for me, I had thought of about 10 songs I'd hum/rap while inside, so I was fully prepared for whatever they threw at me..or so I thought.

What I was NOT prepared for was the feeling of extreme claustrophobia. I couldn't move any of body parts, and it was driving me crazy man. I also felt like a man buried alive in his casket(way too dramatic, but true). So it was at this point, when I started humming the "Lion Sleeps Tonight" song from the Lion King. Well I guess I got so into the song, that I unknowingly started singing, and that's when I heard the voice of one of the MRI technicians. He said to me, "Mr. Mobley we love your rendition of the Lion Sleeps Tonight, but unfortunately you're moving your head, and its messing up the MRI". I could hear them laughing at me, but to me it was no laughing matter..that song was my blanket and I was Linus.

Before they slid me in this machine, they gave me this ball to squeeze in case of an emergency, and for 24 of the 30 minute procedure I stayed away from the ball. But then my left hand started going numb(which is why an MRI was necessary in the first place) and involuntarily squeezed the ball, and the technician quickly came over the loudspeaker and asked me what the problem was..I said man my hand is numb, and I was just trying to un-numb it. He basically said, just keep your fidgety ass still for another 5 minutes and I did, then we were done and I made it through..but unfortunately for me, I have two more MRIs that need to be done on my back...

When I went back to the locker room to change, there were two old black men in there preparing for MRIs as well. I came in and exchanged pleasantries with them and then they happened to notice by booties(socks..I have to clarify), and they asked where I got them, and I told them the nurse. In unison, they said, man she didn't give me any booties. Then they asked me if I could go get them some. I checked the front of my hospital gown to make sure it didn't say "hospital staff", and then I agreed to go steal them some booties. So here my ashy ass was running around the damn hallways trying to smuggle some socks in the dressing room for my elders. But I did it, and they were thankful...so thankful in fact, that one of the dudes thought it necessary to share with me that he forgot to wear underwear. Now even though I have been in that same position, I only mentioned it in my blog, not to another man. Needless to say, I quickly put on my clothes, and I hightailed it out of there...whatever that means

Smoking Gun - Robert Cray

4 comments:

Janelle said...

Did the nurse really tell you to "man up"???? If so, classic Black Larry David moment...hahahahaha

I'm still praying for you. Yes I know it weirds you out but it is what it is.

Jo said...

You had me LOL - ing wit hthis one . . .

I had no idea you were a singer, too. Can I get you to sing for me?

Glad you made it through the ordeal. Your rendition of the event was spectacular.

You have to let us know how the other two go! Good luck . . .and nice job fending for your elders. They should have at least tipped you or something!

Jo said...

You had me LOL - ing wit hthis one . . .

I had no idea you were a singer, too. Can I get you to sing for me?

Glad you made it through the ordeal. Your rendition of the event was spectacular.

You have to let us know how the other two go! Good luck . . .and nice job fending for your elders. They should have at least tipped you or something!

lex said...

R...why are you still walking around ashy?? may i suggest some aquaphor?

but yeah this entry is hilarious. from your ashy gams to you running around stealing booties and the brutha with no draws - i lol'd quite a bit.

one down. two to go. you can do it! :)