Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Top 10 Reasons I Did Not Watch Last Night's State of the Union Address

10) Due to my strict doctor's orders earlier in the day, I was unable to play the drinking games I usually play when I watch Bush speak. They are: 1)Take a shot every time the audience applauds 2)Take a shot each time Bush pauses waiting for an applause and 3)take a shot each time Hillary and Obama are shown. I would have been good and drunk in 7 minutes flat.

9)A good portion of the speech was already on the internets well before Bush took the stage. If you give me the answers to the test beforehand, chances are I will cheat like nobodies business.

8)The best part of any State of the Union address is not the actual speech, but its the rebuttal/response, which in this case came from Democratic Kansas Governor, Kathleen Sebelius. That is when you get to hear just how full of shit the president's speech is..

7) I was in the middle of loading my IPOD, and I looked up and it was 9:15..much too late to be catching the speech

6) Watching a President in his final year(or a lame duck president as I heard many politicians say) give a State of the Union address is akin to a child staying out late even though they have already broken curfew. You've already gotten in trouble, so why not get your money's worth and stay out all damn night. In Bush's case, he's already made some egregious errors, so why not say any damn thing. A year from now, he won't care anyway.

5)I know this stimulus package is supposed to help both the economy and the American public, but I cannot help but to get aroused every time I hear the phrase uttered. So you have a man named Bush talking about a stimulus package, and I am supposed to take that seriously with my girlfriend within arm's reach? COME ON!

4)I knew that every known camera in that room would be focused on the Obama/Kennedy/Clinton love triangle, and sure when I woke up this morning, I saw this photo, and I know countless blogs and media outlets are analyzing this. I gotta tell you I like the idea of my presidential candidate having bad sportsmanship. If a presidential rival were in my presence, not only would I snub him/her, I would go out of my way to shake every one's hand around him/her.

3) The Tennessee/Duke game was way more entertaining. Go Candace Parker.

2) I am burned out on politics right now, so there's no way I could have appreciated last night's speech. I need to save my energy for Super Tuesday next week.

1) I was in the midst of beating my girlfriend in Scrabble for the 4 consecutive time in a row concurrently.

My Peoples - Raheem Devaughn


Kevin T Parker said...

Candance Parker is so tuff. I want her to dunk on me. I think she might be too young for me though.

Jo said...

I missed it, too.

This morning I was like . . .dang . . .was the State of the Union last night . . .shucks! I missed it. I expected to see it on the front pages of all the papers, but it wasn't. There was only talk about the Obama, Barack, and Kennedy triangle you mentioned . . .those pictures graced all the front pages. Well, another one missed, but thanks for the Dem rebuttal . . .how did she stay still for so long?

maxwellsmusze said...

That picture of Obama igging Hillary is priceless.

Good one Rashad!

Sha said...

say brother you're an awesome multitasker..

lex said...

your number one reason was the best. and, while i do not condone beating your girlfriend in scrabble, i'm all for the friendly competition that scrabble brings out. Ok, the trash talking too. I'm a scrabble fiend.

And, nothing personal, but i want your girl to give you a scrabble beatdown next time. :)