Tuesday, March 18, 2008

So as I was buying my lady's birthday card yesterday, an arrogant thought ran across my mind, which means it most definitely was going to make an appearance in the blog. The thought was that I don't really respect people who buy cards, and then just sign them at the bottom. To me, that takes little to no thought, and even though you may have spent upwards of $3 on that card, your gesture is nullified by the lack of creativity shown. Now I certainly understand that not everyone is a writer, who can dazzle, shock and awe on the blank canvas that Hallmark provides, but come on...If you're giving a card to someone, the assumption is that you feel some kind of way about them as well, and meaningful words should be at the tip of your fingers. In fact I would go as far as to say that if any of you people get a card from me, and I DON'T write in it, that means I hate you.

So yesterday while I was at the bar, I saw something that I have noticed quite a few times over the years, and that is the person I like to call the bar wanderer. This is the person who hovers over everyone's back, because all of the seats at the bar are taken and spoken for already. This person hunts for a seat at the bar, like a 5 year old just learning to navigate a keyboard. This person searches for a sliver of an opening between patrons, so he or she can order a drink, pay for said drink, pick up the drink, and then when they are done, they slide their dirty, empty glass right in front of the privileged bar sitters. It is annoying, its pitiful, but I have been that guy before and I gotta tell you its a frustrating position to be placed in. I saw a guy yesterday who was so desperate to sit down at the bar, that he was making small talk with two women who CLEARLY didn't want to hear what he had to say and vice versa, but it was all about sitting down. He stood about for about 30 minutes, and by the time a seat became available, he had already paid his tab, and it was time to go. I realize this is probably fascinating to no one, but I find it quite humorous, and the next time you decide to hit the bar, check it out.

Stevie Wonder, David Paterson and Ray Charles. All three are blind. All three are black. And all three get/got more sex that I can shake a stick at. Stevie has like 8 kids, Ray Charles has enough kids to fill up the first 4 rows at a church, and apparently David Paterson was getting a repeated side action on his wife(who in all fairness was getting some action of her own). I think i'll stare at sun a little longer than usual this morning.

Christina Aguilera - Nasty Naughty Boy

3 comments:

Jo said...

LMAO!That was too funny about Patterson . . .what next! LOL!

And stop looking directly in the sun! You'll go BLIND! LOL!

lex said...

rofflewaffles @ staring at the sun

my dude...you are a FOOL

funny, but a fool nonetheless

but wait, did you see their wedding picture? She was looking at the camera but he was facing her coif. or maybe it was their band? well whatever the point is he wasn't facing the camera. it was unintentionally hilarious.

(and you're right about the cards, i usually wind up writing a mini manuscript by the time im done)

Chubbs said...

so what'd u write in the card?

and I'm frequently the bar wanderer. How else can I snag a drink and a seat during happy hour? I guess I'm polite about it though--I always say "excuse" "oops" "do you mind if I squeeze through here?"