Wednesday, March 26, 2008

So yesterday when my lady arrives home from work, she informs me that her good friend from Minnesota requested that she carry out a mission for her. And that mission was to find as many sponges as she possibly could find in the DC/MD area. Not the sponges that you could use to scrub your kitchen and bathroom, but the The Today Sponge made famous by Elaine from Seinfeld 10 years ago. Apparently this sponge will be removed from the market again, and my lady's friend uses this as her birth control weapon of choice, so she wants to accost as many sponges as she possibly can. There's nothing wrong with that in my eyes however...

WHO THE HELL STILL USES THE SPONGE? I'm no Wilt Chamberlain or Hugh Hefner, but I've gotten a little trim in my day, and never in my life have I encountered a woman who uses these things, and when I ask both my male and female friends, none of them have encountered a sponge user either. Its a wonder that they haven't gone out of business much sooner. From my understanding(and please someone correct me if I'm wrong) these things have to be inserted like 12 hours before an action jumps off..which means that before you even open one of these things, you have to pretty damn sure your male partner is going to cooperate. I can just see that phone conversation now:

Man: Baby I can't come over tonight I'm tired
Woman: But you said, you were coming over at--
Man: Did you hear what I said, baby i'm tired, maybe tomorrow
woman: but I put in(man hangs up) my sponge

And then the woman has to take that long walk to the bathroom to remove and eventually dispose of the sponge. Or she possibly could call someone else who doesn't even deserve any goodies from her, just to put good use to this contraption inside her That's just demoralizing man, but then again, maybe there are some magical benefits that my 33 year old mind just cannot wrap itself around.

By the way, to that anonymous commenter who gave me step by step instructions on how to fix my ipod, YOU my friend are a champion of honesty. I really appreciate it. I was listening to boring basketball podcasts this morning like I had never missed a beat.

Letitgo - Prince

5 comments:

theradleyfiles said...

i cant imagine using the sponge :(

Bashful said...

The sponge is still on the market?

Chubbs said...

maybe that's how they roll in Minnesota...I dunno, never been. The sponge is definitely old school though--is your lady's friend a senior citizen?? That would explain a lot.

lex said...

sponge worthy!

the sponge is not for me, but from what i understand there was a big hue and cry when they were removed from the market the first time. Somebody is using them. Just not anyone i know.

Im pretty sure they can be inserted just before sexy time though...and left in for a few hours afterwards

LittleTortilla stays in DC said...

Why would she want to use something that is being pulled from the market? The FDA is mad lenient and will leave stuff that kills people on the market. If they are taking it off that's a huge red flag.