Thursday, May 08, 2008

Last night while I was eating dinner, my lady had the movie, When Harry Met Sally on the television. At some point, the question of whether males and females could be friends was thrown around, Billy Crystal's character says that is simply not possible. I have mixed feelings on the subject.

One my best friends over the past 5 or 6 years is a woman, and nothing has ever gone down between us. Granted, 90% of our correspondence takes place via phone or email, because neither one of us really wants to be bothered with all the face to face business, which can get boring. In the past, when I had women problems or issue, I'd bounce them off of her, and she would keep me out of trouble. Nowadays, she has a man, and I have a lady so we don't talk quite as much, but there are no hard feelings either camp. So in that respect, I'd say yes, men and women can be friends. My lady and I, can hang with her and her man, and there is no tension at all, just good times.

On the flip side, my girl and I, started off as friends. We briefly tried to get together a few years back, but it didn't workout, so we became good friends. Much like the friend I mentioned above, we never saw each other, we just emailed Monday thru Friday. We both went in and out of relationships, and we remained friendly. There was no flirting or anything like that, just good solid friendship. Every now and then we would share something that probably shouldn't have been shared, but it was harmless. Fast forward 3 years, I saw her out randomly, and I was interested all over again, although I never said anything. And then after the fire, we went out again, and then again, and we've been going on ever since. We are still friends, but we are also very much a couple, and she is indeed the one. But this doesn't really help that men and women can be friends argument.

In sports there's an expression that in order to be champion, you have to defeat the champion. The sentiment is that no matter how good you think you are, you have to clearly demonstrate that you are better in head to head combat. And even though she isn't a champion, this must be the stance that Hillary Clinton is taking. Despite the writing that is all over the wall, she refuses to quit until the bitter end apparently. And as annoying as that is, I gotta tell you, that if I were in your shoes, I would do the EXACT same thing, and I would be even more defiant. I might even drop a few f-bombs in the process. Hillary probably fees like this her only window of time with which to succeed, since she will be 65 years old in 2012. I don't blame for sticking around, although I clearly see the argument for her conceding too.

I'm In Love Again - Michael Jackson and Minnie Ripperton


Chubbs said...

women and men CAN be real friends and just friends, but only if there's no attraction. none. simple as that. Otherwise, there's always a chance it could turn into something else--as you've proven with you and your lady.

asabi said...

For me the only way I can be true platonic friends with a guy is if I am not attracted to him in the least bit. i think its worth noting that we have totally screwed up the definition of what a friend is with that "homie, lover, friend" shyt. Just like friends dont let other friends drive drunk. Friends dont f@ck other friends.

Anonymous said...

women and men in this area, not sure if its anywhere else, but in the dc metro all have this play brother/sister, big bro-sis thing going on and its all a sham! if you ever meet a chic/dude and they have a "play" (read: FAKE) relative posing as a friend be alarmed.

Janelle said...

mannnn, you're my friend and I don't want ya!!!! hahahahahahahahahaha

but for real, men and women CAN be real friends without any "fringe benefits". Its a respect thing. And a matter of "my friend may be cute but I don't want to fuck up the friendship." But I also think its easier to have these types of friends if you've known them forever. You can't just pop up in a relationship talking about "oh I met a new chick...she's really cool. she could be my best friend."

and ummmm I think anonymous has been going through some things...hahahahahahahaaa

lex said...

this is that slippery slope territory.

in my heart i truly think men and women can be friends. in fact two of my best friends are men. buddies, pals, chums. i love those guys.

*BUT* everyone has to know their boundaries...and keep within them.

man...i may have to spin off with this one.

Chubbs said...

I agree with anon, btw. I learned my lesson back in college. I had what I thought was a platonic guy friend who I called my "brother" and he in turn called me "sis." But, then, after 4 years of "platonism" (is that even a word?), dude "accidentally" pulls out his, well, you know. And just like that--it was over. Needless to say, we are no longer "friends."

rashad said...

dude just whipped his johnson all willy nilly?