You know when you go the doctor's office, and you get to that inevitable part of the visit where a needle has to go inside you arm? They find a vein, wrap some sort of band around your bicep, rub alcohol in the area, and then they prepare to go in for the kill. At that point, you turn away, and you just wait for the needle to be inserted..but then for some reason the doctor isn't quite ready yet, because he's still looking for a vein, so you keep looking away, then looking at him, and the whole process seems to last an eternity. This is my bad and convoluted analogy to what it is like waiting for my goddamn stimulus check to come.

It would be different if I didn't know how much I was expecting or when it was going to arrive. Then I would just be minding my own business and BAM!, the check would catch me off guard, and life would be grand. But the IRS ruined all that, by giving you charts, bells and whistles that let you know via your social security number: 1)what week it should be mailed out/deposited and 2)how much you will be receiving. On top of everything else, I have closed the bank account my income tax refund was deposited in , and I didn't fill out a change of bank account form until earlier this month. So I will receive a paper check, instead of a direct deposit. I calmly called the IRS, and they told me on May 5th, that I should receive the check some time in the next 3 weeks. So now every damn day, on my way home, I get all excited thinking this could be the day, and I open the mailbox, and I see nothing but bills and Chinese restaurant menus. Its totally frustrating and I wish I weren't so damn neurotic about this all, but I am.