Friday, July 25, 2008

It was one of those crowded, ass to elbow situations on the train this morning for some reason. Usually I just pass up the initial crowded train, in hopes that the next one is a little less crowded, thus decreasing my altercation opportunities. This morning? No such luck.

I skipped 2 trains, and when the third was crowded I just got on it. There were people all around me, but everyone was pretty much quiet and respecting each other's boundaries... except for one woman who was directly in front of me. This lady was hell bent on not only reading the paper, but spreading it out to the fullest extent. I tolerated it while she was just holding the paper. I even tolerated it when she grazed my face when she turned the page the first time. But when the second violation occurred, and I had a mouth full of Washington Post, enough was enough. I just gently brushed the newspaper off of my face, which magically caused her to drop the entire section of the newspaper she was reading (aka I forcibly snatched it to the ground). She clearly was in her own world, because SHE thought it was HER fault and she apologized, and I said "oh no you're fine", and then I smirked and went back to listening to my relaxing morning meditation. Again, I do not ask for these type of altercations..then again, I'm also not mature enough to walk away from them either. For the kids out there who are reading, I am sorry for letting you down. I won't promise to do better next time though.

I have bitched and moaned to you people about this crazy woman in my office who won't stop humming, and I haven't gotten many solutions as to how to handle this. My lady suggested headphones and I tried that, but it annoyed me that she got to hum all willy nilly, while I was confined to head phones, so I took them off. My solution? I played very profane music to combat her spiritual hummings if you will. The first time she kept humming..the other two times she was visibly appalled, and she stopped it completely. Today, there has been nothing but silence..then again I was 15 minutes late today, so we will see.

In just 3 short weeks I'll be on the sunny beaches of Miami, and none of this will matter one bit.


Eric said...

I was listening to the same tune this morning coming into work. I never get tired of it. I'm sure you've also checked out Marc Dorsey on the Buckshot LeFonque recordings. He's a very talented brother.

I'm not sure why people are so inconsiderate on the Metro. Maybe I'm just OVERLY considerate about people's personal space. I'm a slim brother and 9 times out of 10 I always end up getting crushed in my seat by someone larger than me. They usually slide in nice and easy but after two or three stops they ooze over that invisible boundary between us. By the time I reach my stop I'm smashed against the glass like the dudes from Black Eyed Peas in the Joints and Jams video.

£ex said...

See this is why i stick with the Daily News or the Metro when im on public trans. My "real" papers - the Times and the Inquirer - are too unwieldy for the space allotted by the bus or train. Sure i look like a dork cuz im reading papers that are known to cater to folks with only basic reading skills. It don't matter cuz i be readin though.

I think your profane music shenanigan was the key to finally silencing our little office hummingbird. She is probably shocked out of her gourd.