Monday, October 13, 2008

I have grown accustomed to writing down 90% of my feelings surrounding any and every subject that comes in my head, and that's what I love about this blog. But this current situation is much different and way more personal. I have sat down at this laptop many times over the past couple of days wondering what I can write, and wondering if I at least wrote something down, would it alleviate this daily pain and crying, but I stop short. I'm just not ready to totally open up about this yet. The fire last year was bad, but those were possessions lost, and I knew that in time, I would replace most of them. And while I'm sure my lady and I will try again at some point to have another child, right now it just hurts beyond words to see her hurting as much as she is. That's an image you simply don't shake with words of encouragement and the promise of replacement possessions. For 5 months we made plans for this boy, and now just like that he's gone, but the pain and memories just stick around. So just bear with me here, and if you are religious pray for us. If you're a Bill Maher clone, and religion isn't your thing, then just say something nice, I'm sure it'll have the same effect.

6 comments:

Jarred said...

Hi...I've been reading your blog for quite some time now (anonymously), and just couldn't stay silent after reading about what you're going through. I can't begin to imagine the pain you're feeling, and consequently, don't know what to say. But know that you and your lady have been most definitely in my prayers and thoughts. May God be your comforter during this difficult time.

soft and subtle said...

Some things aren’t meant to be shared.... This is a personal and trying time in your life. If you feel you must write, try writing about something positive that happened in your life. Although things seem gloomy right now, positive things happen everyday (even if they're small). You know you're always in my prayers.

JazzBrew said...

I agree with soft and subtle. This is probably one of those things that you don't share unless you really feel compelled to do so (and that might be years from now).

I have written about things in my life just as therapy for ME. No one else saw it. Even then it was a struggle to put powerful emotions into words.

Hang in there man. I'm praying for you and your lady. Lean on each other and be sure to communicate (I speak from experience there). Everything will be alright.

Just Me... said...

Rashad

You all are in my prayers! Try to be strong.

Janelle said...

you have our (well my) unwavering support and we (well I) have been praying for you and the lovely lady constantly and while this is something you never truly "get over" the pain will lessen over time. But through it all we are(well I am)here for you guys.


oh and tag you're it

Blue said...

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I will definitely pray for you and your lady. May God comfort you both.