Tuesday, October 21, 2008

I have two work complaints.

One, I get in early, and I see that I have an email from the head of the "birthday committee" asking me to donate $10 for yet another birthday extravaganza. Apparently, the birthday girl requested a specific store from which to receive a gift card and now we have to fall in line and donate, and frankly I resent that shit. Now, I have to walk an interesting tight rope here, because the people at my job were nice enough to send me a beautiful flower arrangement while my lady was in the hospital, and I was thankful for that. But that's different. I wasn't in the hospital lobbying for a gift and telling them what kind of arrangment I wanted, they did it out of the goodness of their collective hearts. But with this gift card bullshit, my hand is being forced, and I just think its ridiculous. I'm sure my job, or anyone reading this thinks I am cheap, but really I am not. I just think a birthday donation should be voluntary, as opposed to the dictated at 7 in the damn morning.

Second complaint. Due to my lady's health, and a couple of my personal doctor appointments, I have had to leave work early on several different occasions recently. I try to tell my boss in advance, but sometimes things come up, and I have to tell her at the last minute. If you recall, I dropped my urine off yesterday morning, but they didn't tell me until 3 that afternoon, that they needed blood too. So I told my boss, I needed to leave a bit early, and she said it was cool. I repeat, she said it was cool. She then told me to inform my co-worker as well, and I have no problem doing that, because we work closely together.

So, I tell this relatively new dude that I am leaving early, and this is what he does. First he looks at the clock, then he gives me this dumbass smirk and says, "Maybe on Friday I should give blood, so I can leave early too", and instantly I wanted to smack him dead across the face with my genitals; however, since I was fasting yesterday, I took the high road (shoutout to Denny Green) and I just walked away. This isn't the first time this ass clown has said something smart when I needed to leave early. One time I had to leave, and he comes in my office asking me if he can take a quick smoke break before I leave him in the office alone. I said sure thing, and I left right behind him. He is not my boss, I tell him shit out of common courtesy, and his reactions are way out of bounds. The problem is, I don't know how to suppress my Rashad-ness enough to tell him in a classy way, rather than flipping out and possibly losing my job. I'm open to suggestions though.

I started a blog that is strictly dedicated to me getting svelte. I won't link it here, but if you look to your right with the other list of blogs, I'm sure you can figure out which one it is (Operation Svelte). Maybe I'll inspire someone to get of their out of shape/fat/overweight/mildly overweight ass and start working out.

I cursed a lot in this entry, but I am not apologizing.


Jazzbrew said...

It sounds like you and I share another thing in common - temper (that was actually the subject of the blog entry that might not see the light of day).

I let so much stuff slide because either I'm cool or I'm off the hook. There is no middle ground. I would have gotten canned a long time ago if I responded the way I WANTED when someone does something ignorant.

I have no suggestions other than continue to take that high road. Your new workout commitment will help keep your pressure down.

nichole said...

y'all need to do simple, monthly birthday recognitions with cake and that's it.
we're in a recession.
folks can't be popping off $10 every other day so people can have nice gift cards.

tell your people to get it together!

Arlene said...

Top-o-the day to you, Rashad.

This is a lengthy post, but I feel it will be of some use to you or other readers. I offer it in the spirit of goodwilL and as an aid to EMPOWERMENT.

Sometimes doing the obligatory thing can be challenging, at other times, a piece of cake. If it's important to you to come from a place of honesty, you'll always do what's best for the good of the whole.
We have cards circulating around the office from time to time when someone dies, gets married, gets sick, etc. I always take a moment to think about why I need to sign it.

Do I know the person? am I doing it because every one else is? Sometimes, I pass on the signing. It doesn't feel right, I don't do it Period!

As to any or all co-workers, or folks in general, you might want to consider making the decision to face him/her directly. Confrontation is healthy and freeing if done with some forethought.

Here are some tips that help me gain freedom and control of handling difficult people:

1. Write down the exact problem you need to handle and your goal for the confrontation.

2. Write down a plan or list of points you need to make to support your goal. This includes: facts, reasons and explanations you need the other person to understand. List the points in order of priority.

3. Write down objections, reactions or disagreements the other person may have. Include everything you are afraid might happen. *When you write out concerns or fears it reduces their impact on you.

4. Arrange to meet with the person where you will not be disturbed and in a space you control.

5. Start the meeting and make eye contact. a. Explain the specific issue you want to resolve b. listen to the other person. c. hold a posistion on your points. d. use anysolutions from their reactions. 5. Do not give up. Communicate and persist as long as it takes to reach your goal.

The more frequently you confront and handle difficult people, the easier it becomes. The amount of time it takes to prepare for the confrontation will decrease as well. You become strong and tough!

*When you confront and handle everyone around you, people respect you for your courage, your honesty and your control. You set an example and everyone becomes more productive.

Your enemies either become harmless or become your friends!

Janelle said...

That whole office giving sucks. Because once you've started giving or are the recipient of the giving,then you're stuck at least for the next go 'round.

With that said, you can opt out and just give her a bday card - empty. You can get a nice gender nuetral card for 99 cents in rite aid. You sign it with well wishes and if they talk about you, oh well. You still have 10 bucks in your pocket. LOL

As for the snarky co-worker, I would be sarcastic right back like with a "Oh really?!" with a raised eyebrow or a "tell me how that works out for you buddy!"
(even though, Arlene's advice is probably the more adult way to go. I'm ashamed. LOL)

Chubbs said...

i'd be pissed too if I had to donate to each and every person's birthday card. what if I don't like you? I say, play the cheapskate role, and say, "Sorry, I'm plagued by debt right now...but I'll get her a card (or not) on my own."

As for your dimwitted co-worker, ask him DIPLOMATICALLY to keep his side comments to himself. Say, "Hey, you know, I think you'd make a great stand-up comedian and all, but I'd appreciate you not practicing your routine on me." or simply, "Man, quit with the sarcastic side comments," and then just walk away.

£ said...

ugh not this birthday mess again. reminds me of that seinfeld ep with the "get well soon" cake.

anyway, as far as your smarty pants coworker is concerned I applaud you for not going rambo on a ho. that slick talk stuff is enough to get the most laid back person's goat.

I like the suggestions arlene and chubbs gave. *takes notes*

sixfive said...

The birthday thing is ridiculous, requesting giftcards?
And why don't you just inform your co-worker via email.