Sunday, December 14, 2008

My Christmas party is in just five days, but already I have begun to prepare for the onslaught of foolishness that is almost guaranteed to come my way. Last year, despite my attempts to drown my social ineptitude in wine, I find myself caught up in a series of bullshit conversations that just drove me mad. And since Christmas parties seem to be a necessary evil these days, the solution is not to just blow them off completely. So this year, I have come up with a foolproof plan that will allow me to be more comfortable. Wanna hear it? here it go.

Buy name tags
My company is a pretty large one, and I work on site, not in the main office. Plus, as with most small businesses these days, the turnover rate is pretty high, so there will be a lot of people I don't know, which means questions like, "So what's your name?" or " I don't believe we've met". Instead of having to say my name, then listen to them butcher the pronunciation, then say my name again, I can just point to my name tag.

Put together a "Rashad" packet
At some point during this party, I will be asked to report on what I've been doing both professional and personally. The questions will range from, "So which contract do you work on?" to "I hear you write about the Wizards, how's that going?" to "How are you and your lady doing since you lost the baby?" If I am drinking and socializing at a Christmas party, the last thing I want to do run down a list of fun facts about myself; however, if I had a neat packet to give to these Barbara Walters wannabees, then I could kill two birds with one stone. They could learn about what's been going on with me, and get the hell out of my face too.

Face time with the CEO, the VP and my boss
I did not do a good enough job of this last year, because I was lazy. But in these times of layoffs, panic, bad breaks and setbacks, it wouldn't kill me to make sure that all three of these folks see me, talk to me, laugh at my attempt of humor, and then send me on my way.

Leave before the dancing
Every year, my company has a sizable dance floor and a DJ, and right after dessert, the dancefloor shenanigans begin. The first couple of years I made the mistake of sticking around, and it was a travesty. Clearly alcohol had kicked in, and folks were just acting and looking crazy. This year I will absolutely make sure that me and my lady are gone before the DJ puts the needle on the record of that first song. One, I can't dance at all. I can do a little two step action, but not when co-workers are watching. Two, drinks, dinner and dessert are quite enough. No one likes their co-workers that much, and I'm not exception.

The party is next Friday, I'll be sure to document it.
Here is the rundown from last year's party.

Bilal - All for Love

1 comment:

Miss. Lady said...

Damn you just brought memories back of the VP on the turn tables that one year. LOL!

Thank goodness my company has decided to do a luncheon instead of a full fledge Christmas party and since they are having this wonderful event during the work day I will not be able to attend.