Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Roughly a month ago, my lady and I were in a mall in a suburban Maryland city, on a quest for some Chick-fil-A. Her doctor's office was about five minutes away from this mall, and prior to even arriving at her appointment, we had made the executive decision to purchase, then devour the finest products Chick-fil-A had to offer. Before we got in line, we walked up to the Chick-fil-A cow, and took some of the samples he/she was holding on his tray.

The line was moving way too slow for my taste, so my mind started to wander as did my eyes, and I looked back over at the Chick-fil-a cow. When you really think about mascots handing out food, its kind of creepy. They don't talk or greet you, they just bop back and forth, hug you, and invite you to eat whatever kind of food they may be holding. So some faux resentment started to build up in me, and I looked over to my lady and asked her how much money she would give me if I just ran up behind the mascot and hit him in the head. I wouldn't knock him down or viciously attack, just "playfully" hit him in the head, then calmly walk out of the mall, so I wouldn't run into this man. Of course at this point, my lady grabbed my arm, held it tight and pulled me away from the cow..but I still thought about it. Five minutes later I ordered my food, and rolled out.

So last night when I got home from work and my lady told me about this story, I broke out into a broad smile. I don't condone violence, especially at a fine dining establishment like Chick-fil-a, but someone had to teach these mascots a lesson. So to the attacker, if you're reading this blog from your jail cell in Virginia, thank you for taking one from the team. And next time, take my idea and just "playfully" tap the mascot next time.

Here is my latest article.

And here is Rebbie Jackson:

5 comments:

Jamal said...

Too funny. Even though the story is a little sad

Jazzbrew said...

First let me say that mascot abuse is wrong. There is a person in that suit and they're just doing their job. Hopefully he/she was not hurt.

At the same time there is a part of me (deep down in places I don't talk about at parties) that finds it hilarious.

£ said...

LOL @ jazzbrew's disclaimer: "first let me say that mascot abuse is wrong." And jamal's "...even though the story is a little sad" after he comments of the humor of it all.

i ain't even going to go into your oops upside the head scenario.

dang. mascots gets no respeck.

but forreal what kind of rage was the assailant in to attack the hapless mascot in the first place? there are some sick people out there. lol.

speaking of mascots...did you see this bit of unintentional comedy from all star weekend?

rashad said...

Lex,
I have seen that, and it is golden!

Chubbs said...

i'm disappointed. i love cows, even fake/mascot cows. :-(

p.s. everytime you typed chick-fil-a in this post, my tummy did the hungry dance.