Friday, March 06, 2009

I wonder what percentage of people are late to work, because they were engaged in sex that went longer than they had originally anticipated. Someone needs to do a study and crunch those numbers.

So I was walking briskly with purpose this morning, because I was a bit late for work, when I stuck behind a woman who was dragging a backpack on one of those roller thingys. I was already upset that this backpack was on this roller, instead of on her back, which is where it was designed to go. But who I am to judge right? So I kept trying to walk by her, but at one point she changed directions quickly and ran over my toe. Either she didn't feel herself run over my toe, or she was just being rude, but she didn't even acknowledge it, but I let it slide. I was feeling good this morning, and I wasn't going to let a backpack roller bully mess that up. But then she did it a second time on the same toe, and I was livid, because she had the nerve to look back at me like it was my fault. And on top of that, the first thing out of her mouth was, "Excuse you!"

Now, there are times when I work myself into a lather over things that could easily be solved with a little tenderness. This was not one of those times. So the follow exchange happened:

Me: What the hell you say? (yes I'm an English major, but anger trumps correct grammar sometimes)

Her: I said excuse you, you kicked my bag for the second time (so she DID feel it initially..that's what she said)

Me: You hit MY foot twice ma'am, and perhaps if you put the BACKpack on your back, this wouldn't happen

Her: Whatever, can you just watch your step?

Me(under my breath but not really) Man f**k you

Her: Whatever

Now, I realize that was harsh, and my lady (and maybe others) are reading this and shaking their head at my language, but I feel like I did as well as can be expected given the circumstances. I'm trying to work on my mouth and my temper, so that I can take that elusive high road with Denny Green. Its just going to take some time. But still, you roll luggage, you put backpacks on your back. Those are the rules. No exceptions baby.

This Is The Time - Billy Joel
This is my favorite Billy Joel song for two reasons. One, if you're old enough to remember when CBS aired NBA games, they would do NBA finals highlights to this song. And two, at the 46 second mark of the song, he utters the lyric, "I haven't shown you everything, a man can do." I don't know why I like that lyric, it just seems like something cool to a woman during regular conversation..or foreplay. I think a lot my flaws are showing up in this entry.

3 comments:

Jamal said...

You did right man. I think I would of had the same reaction. And um, I want in on the morning sex survey.

Sab D said...

She rolled you two times? You could have went all the way back to elementary and did the wind-up kickball kick right into the bag .... but you didn't - so your a good guy - don't let anyone persuade you otherwise.

Chubbs said...

and include in the survey...how many people skip work for a day of sex and breakfast, and sex, and lunch, and...