Wednesday, March 11, 2009

When I first starting attending the Jewish Community Center for swimming lessons, I must admit I was a bit nervous. 90-95% of the members are Jewish obviously, and aside from some of the employees who cleaned the building and worked the front desk, I didn't really see anyone who looked like me. I saw one black woman hanging around the pool one day, and I saw another one on the basketball court, but no black men. Still, I enjoyed the facilities, everyone was nice, and I decided that I'd be the Jackie Robinson of the JCC. And for the first few weeks, I had no incidents to speak of...that is until this morning.

Even though I have weekend lessons, I try to get to the pool at least 3 times a week to practice what I have learned. I try to get to the gym around 6-6:15, and I swim 30 minutes..partly because my stamina isn't where I want to be, partly because I don't want to be sleepy all day while I'm at work and partly because there is 30 minute swimming rule when the people are waiting, and I never want to be in position where I have to rush. There is usually one other guy in the pool with me, and we say hi and bye, and that's it. There is also a lifeguard/front desk person who is there every morning, and we speak every now and then.

So this morning I arrive around 6:10(pay attention to the times here), I change, and then go back to the front desk at 6:15 to grab a towel, then I head for the pool, where I am the first one to arrive. I mentally make a note to myself that I have until 6:45 to my little workout in. The guy who usually swims with me arrives about a minute after I do at 6:16, and then a woman (who was black..surprise surprise) gets in the pool about 6:20. For a good 15 minutes it is just us in the pool, and then an older gentleman arrives around 6:30, and he just swims in the same middle lane as the black woman. About two minutes later(6:32) the black woman, who I guess has a cold, starts coughing uncontrollably, so she gets out of the pool. We now have three lanes occupied again, when another guy emerges from the locker room, surveys the three full swimming lanes, looks back at the lifeguard/front desk guy, then hesitates. It is now about 6:34, and the front desk/lifeguard guy comes over to MY lane, bends down, and says:

"Sir, we have a 30 minute swim rule we try to follow here, so that no one is waiting too long"

I looked him dead in the face for about 10 seconds, then dipped my head back into the pool. This jackass then met me on the OTHER end of the pool, and the following conversation went down:

lifeguard: Sir, did you hear what I said, we have someone waiting here, and its been 30 minutes for you
Me: Do you even know what time I got in the pool?
lifeguard: I know you got to the gym around 6:10
Me: But do you know what time I got here?
lifeguard: I'll say 6:10
Me: At 6:10 I hadn't even grabbed a towel yet, and even if I did, I still have 5 more minutes right?
lifeguard: Yes five minutes (looks back at the guy waiting and repeats five minutes)
Me: But I actually I got in the pool at 6:15, so I have 10 more minutes (I look at the guy waiting and hold up 10 fingers with a smirk on my face and get back in the pool).

Now, first of all, as I've said earlier, I don't even swim longer than 30 minutes, so they NEVER have to worry about me violating that rule. Second, the previous guy who encountered a full pool, simply got in the water and shared a lane with someone without you're supposed to do. Thirdly, if you are going to be Mr. Thorough about timing my pool minutes, the least your punk ass can do is clock me correctly. And lastly, what I SHOULD have done is extend my lesson by 2 minutes, since that's how much of my time was wasted talking. Oh..and fifthly(i know that's not a word) the guy who was waiting should have interrupted the lifeguard's interrogation of me, and said the following, "That's ok, that's cool I'll just wait!" or sat his eager ass down for 10 minutes. That is what I would have done.

My apologies to my lady who I basically woke up at 7 am, so i could bitch and moan about this. I should have just sat down at the computer first.

Carousel - Michael Jackson
After hearing numerous "singers" butcher Michael's song last night on American Idol, I felt need to hear the real thing.


Sab D said...

Man I hate sharing lanes! I swim @ 9pm so I can have some solitude. If I swim on the AM, they have water aerobics for the vacrose vein society, so the scenary is compromised if you know what I mean.

Anonymous said...

Pool hog!

Jamal said...

Man, you should of got your michael dyson on. That is crazy.

Jazzbrew said...

lol @ "got your michael dyson on"