Saturday, April 25, 2009

I was in a serious funk for about 60% of the day yesterday, and it was all because of an argument my lady and I got into. And yes it was my fault. I never realized how much havoc an unstable home can cause on other aspects of your life if you let it. I didn't do much talking on the phone or email; I damn sure did not feel like blogging or writing at all (although I did write this article), and I was not being a very nice person to the various people I come in contact with during the course of my day. Then, I'd say around 2 or 3pm, I finally snapped out of it, my lady and I made up, and all is well with the world again. Besides, the weather is way too nice for me to be walking around looking someone stole my bike.

But I am convinced that when you are in a relationship, there have to be some argument guidelines laid down. When you're with someone you don't really care about, you tend to let any damn thing come out of your mouth (or at least I do), because you know that 1)this person could be replaced, and you could be with someone new in a jiffy and 2)you've been planning your escape anyway, so you have nothing to lose (shout out to all my exes). But when you're with someone you love and care about, not only do rules of engagement have to be laid down, but both parties have to make a genuine concerted effort to consistently follow them. This won't eliminate this necessary evil we call arguments, but it damn sure makes them more efficient. Now if I knew what these rules were, I'd write them out right here in this damn blog entry. But I dont..well maybe

1) No yelling..I was going to put no cursing too, but I've found that its not the cursing that gets you in trouble, its yelling the curse word with significant voice inflection that gets you in the doghouse

2)No condescension - as tempting as this one is (for me especially) I am learning that this just may get you slapped..repeatedly

3) No words like "whatever", "whatever you say" or "I don't care"- That non-comm ital bullshit is annoying

4) No hitting

5) No pulling your genitals out in the middle of an argument, in hopes that the appearance of your phallus will segue things from an argument to an all out sex romp...I haven't tried this yet, but I almost did

That's all I have for now


Anonymous said...

love is a battlefield...

tia said...

rule #1 should include cursing. no matter what the tone it's still being directed to the other person and that is disrespectful point blank.

scout said...

#5 cracked me up. I wouldn't recommend it though. If she's angry, randomly pulling your johnson is just going to exacerbate things. sorry, lol.