Tuesday, April 28, 2009

I'm slipping in my old(er)age..

Normally, I am able to see someone in advance who I know, but don't want to talk to, and avoid any conversation no matter how innocuous it may ending up being. Today, thanks to the entertaining podcast I was listening to, I was caught completely off guard by a lady I used to talk to, who came up to me at a crosswalk, while I was waiting for the light to change. She came up on my right side, tapped me on the shoulder, and I looked over, and then I am quite sure my facial expression said, "Man you gotta be f**king kidding me!". The following conversation ensued:

Her: Hey Rashad, how are you?
Me: Hey
Her: Oh my god, you look smaller, have you lost weight?
Me (with a smug look): Yes I lost a bit
Her: You look good
Me: Thanks. Hey the light changed, I'm going to head on to work
Her: Hey wait, talk to me man, what's been up with you? Lots has been going on with me since the last time I sa-
Me (interrupting): I dont meant to be rude, but I do need to get to work, its almost 9.
Her: I see you're still an asshole
Me: Now is that nice?
Her: Whatever Rashad. Well can I at least get your number, I don't think I have
Me( turning to walk across the street): NOPE! (see the video below)

Now, there are a couple of things wrong here. One, I am quite sure that this particular person reads the blog, so she knows damn well that I have a girlfriend, so why you would think I would take your number is beyond me. Second, you clearly don't need my number, because every now and then, you either ask mutual friends about me or you email me. Either way, we don't talk, and that's by design. Thirdly since you read my blog, you should pretty much know and understand, that I will talk about your monkey ass almost as soon as I sit down to my computer. I am in the midst of a crippling case of semi-writer's block, and when an opportunity like this reveals itself unto to me, I will pounce on it like Lifetime does to sad movies. That's what I do. And lastly, how am I an asshole, just because I don't give you a chance to bore me with the details of your life en route to work? Seriously man, that's what girlfriends, parents, hair salon stylists, and blogs are for..not someone you used to date. I could go on, but I don't want to be mean(er) this morning.

My lady makes fun of me for carrying my shirts and slacks to the cleaners, instead of putting them in a dainty bag. Sure it looks sloppy to have 10 dirty shirts in my hand(or sometimes on the ground), but my walk is short, and why get a bag, that right after I drop my clothes off, I'll have to find something to do with. It is a waste of time. Well this morning when I walked in the cleaners, there were 4 other guys en route to the cleaners, and 3 of them had their clothes balled up and around their arms much like me. The other had a tote bag that looked like this, and judging my his mannerisms, his hand motions and his attire, he definitely had a touch of the ghey. I rest my case.

I am posting this video not because I love it or the song, although it is solid. I am posting it because of what transpires between the 17 and 19 second mark. The way he says, "nope" is that way I said it to the woman I used to date. I doubt this will be funny to anyone except m'lady and my brother, but I find it to be quite hilarious.


tia said...

how can semi-writer's block be crippling? wouldn't that make it full-fledged writer's block? i'm just asking.

rashad said...

Well Tia, if I had full fledged writer's block, I could deal with that much better, because then I'd know what the problem was, and I could fix it. Semi writer's block comes and goes, so just went I think I'm done it comes back. That's way more crippling to me, because it unexpected.

Anonymous said...


£ said...

how rude! © Stephanie Tanner

(dont front like you didn't watch full house)

see... that's why I don't speak to people -- especially folks I haven't seen in a while. First of all I'm not a fan of small talk, and second, there's the risk of being treated shabbily or worse: they act like they don't remember me. No sir. I keeps it movin. If you wanna speak to me, fine. I'm good at feigning interest and civility. But I certainly aint going through any extraneous means to speak to *you*.

but yeah, you're a mess. lol :-P