Sunday, July 19, 2009

This is my public service announcement for the day..

I don't care how pretty you are, how nice your outfit is, how big your chest is, how nice your body is, or how important you think your conversation is. There is NO good excuse for you and your wack ass crew to be walking down the sidewalk Reservoir Dogs style making it impossible for me to get by you all. Allow me to explain.

Today I was coming back from the farmer's market with a handful of bags. I had mixed greens, spinach, cucumbers, flowers and some DAMN good spinach pesto. I had not yet eaten breakfast and I was more than eager to get home to do just that. I was about one minute from my house when I noticed four girls ahead of me. Two of them were on their cell phones, the other two were having a conversation, and none of them were paying attention to their surroundings. Here I was walking towards them with my bags in my hand, and all I wanted to do was get by, which is hardly a lot to ask.

At one point before we crossed paths, all four of them looked up, looked right at me, and decided they were too good to get out of my way. So at this point, I could walk on the street where cars were zooming by at 40 mph, I could stop where I was, let them walk by, then get by them, or I could be ass, and keep coming towards them, and let them figure out how to reconfigure themselves. I have been faced with this dilemma many times living and walking in the city, and usually I take the high road and defer to absent minded asses blocking the sidewalk. Today, I didn't have that nice bone in me.

I kept walking straight ahead, and the women having the conversations with one another walked RIGHT into me, and then spent about 2 minutes apologizing and saying they were so sorry, and I said nothing and kept walking. It was actually my fault they walked into me, but it was their fault for even putting me into that position. The rules when walking down a city sidewalk are you can walk in twos..maybe threes, but if you walk in a foursome, no one can get by, and a confrontation will go down. Let this be a lesson to you non-city dwellers. i am happy to report that no groceries were harmed during this manuever.

Gerald Alston - Take Me Where You Want To

1 comment:

sixfive said...

I'm pretty non-confrontational in general, but when faced with this, I almost always hold my path and walk straight, if someone gets a shoulder check, they get a shoulder check. Usually they re-configure though.