You want a sign that handicapped people are moving on up in the world? Just 20 short minutes ago before I came into work, a homeless man went up to a guy in a motorized wheelchair, who had limited use of his arms and legs, and asked him if he could spare a dollar. The wheel chaired gentleman chose not to acknowledge the homeless fellow and sped by, but still..that's progress in my eyes.

There's an interesting event coming up in my life on July 24th. The Columbia University/Barnard College alumni association is throwing a reception for US Attorney General Eric Holder, who is also a Columbia grad. Since my dad is a Columbia alum and my mother is Barnard grad, I know lots of people in their class, because they were always at my house growing in my youth. This means that I was in position to receive an invitation to this black tie affair. Why is this exciting? Let me count the ways

1) Eric Holder. I work for the Department of Justice, so technically he's my boss. Not only that, he used to work in the same building I currently do God's work in, so hopefully at least 5-10 minutes of schmoozing will go a long way...especially since he knows my parents.

2) I get to wear a tux. I have no shame in admitting that I have only had to wear a tuxedo twice in my life. I know folks who own numerous tuxedos, and whoopty damn doo for them. I'm still at the point where wearing one is a big effing deal, so I plan on relishing each and every minute of it..assuming I can put it on by myself.

3) The awkward factor. I know what I'm about to say is wrong, but if you saw it, you'd laugh at it from afar too. It is quite possible that both my divorced-for-18-years-parents will be at this reception. People they've known for 35-40 years will be in attendance and I doubt they'll both miss an opportunity to re-connect with them. Most of the people in the room remember my parents as a couple in college, so to see them on their own and mingling will be more than a bit awkward. Throw in the fact that my dad is always a threat to bring his new woman, and I am basically my mother's date?? You got yourself a stew baby. I can joke about this because I've seen the awkwardness that is my mother and father being in the same room for years now. Yeah its painful deep down, but I operate in the shallow world my friends, and in that realm is humorous.

4) Obama. Our beloved president is a Columbia alum, and Eric Holder is his main man 50 grand. My sources tell me, that there is a chance he may be in attendance. That may not sound like a big deal to you, but in 34 years of life, I have been to an event where the President's presence is a chance type of deal. Never. Realistically speaking this is my one chance to meet him, so I will bring a list of one to two liners to dazzle him with just in case I get a chance to see him. That is my pledge to you, my 4 readers.