Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Right now, in the middle of my kitchen floor by my shredder, is a crock pot. My lady let it be known early last week, that they were on sale, and it was absolutely paramount that we make this a new member of our crowded kitchen. I am naive to the wonders of crock pot cooking, so I blindly followed. While were in the store, I honestly saw about 67 different brands of crock pots that looked exactly the same, but the prices ranged from $15 to $100..I mean how much do you really expect out of a damn crock pot? We rescued the $15 one from its misery, and now its in our home.

Now during the ride home, my lady pumped me up by dazzling me with the possibilities of this wonderful crock pot, and I must admit I got a little excited. The only food I've ever eaten out of a crock pot is meatballs during a potluck Christmas party, and I ate them up the way Macy Gray eats testosterone pills. If the crock pot could make all my food taste that good, then I'd be all for it. But as of yesterday, the crock pot was still in the box and that really wouldn't be a big deal, if I hadn't accidentally kicked the damn thing. That was the catalyst for me going on a five minute rant (directed at my lady) about the crock pot's lack of usage, and how it was a waste of time, and she had basically hoodwinked me. My lady calmly and rationally explained that it was only Tuesday (it was purchased on Saturday), and there was plenty of time for it to be used and abused. A very valid point. I still want it gone and replaced with...

A Pro-Line Black Waffle Iron. Its double-sided, so if I am so inclined to cook waffles, both my lady and I can eat at the same time (aka a "69" situation). Its non-stick, it has a timer on the front that glows in the dark, which comes in handy when the electricity goes out. Plus, who doesn't enjoy a waffle for breakfast, dinner or post hangover? I know we live in a world where crock pots and waffle irons can co-exist peacefully, but I would feel better and more victorious if we could uproot the crock pot in favor of the waffle iron. I'm sorry a BELGIAN waffle iron.


£ said...

a few things:

1. your lady knows what she is talkin bout. crock pots are THE bizness. Especially as it gets cooler? They are perfect for roasts and soups and stews and all matters of hodgepodge goodness that you can think of.(leave my preposition alone.)There is something about the slow simmer action which makes everything taste better.

2. it takes a minute for new kitchen appliances to be put into rotation. At least for me anyway. i've had new blenders,mixers, et al -that have sat for a month or more before i used them.

3. i am mad you managed to reference the secks in your belgian waffle iron argument. lol

4. Wouldn't S. Williams have been a better example of a testosterone ingestin feminina? just sayin.:)

rashad said...

I approve of 1-3 of your comment. #4 will get you cut and cut off. serena is an athlete. macy is a tranny

scout said...

lol, you'll be singing that crock pots praises soon enough, buddy! you read my blog entry about it, I'm tellllling you they're fantastic. However, if you don't cook or spend much time in the kitchen anyway you may never understand the usefulness of such a fine device. But take it from me, it's going to save whoever cooks a bunch of time and effort and your house won't be hot from the stove or oven being on, AND it uses less energy than a big ol' stove. And the food tastes great. You'll see.

Ryan said...

Buddy, you gotta' get online for some football recipes for the slow cooker. There's something magical about lounging on the couch for an afternoon while the smell of something amazing for dinner wafts to you.

My fav is chilli but I have a ton of other ideas if you and your Lady want some.

....: blue :.... said...

I'm thinking perhaps that we should all submit our favorite crock pot recipes for you and your lady. Oh and wait until you open the box... mine came *with* a cookbook, which is where I got a great recipe for pulled pork! Yum!
And seriously, I'd happily share recipes with you. Let me know if you would like them :-)