Saturday, September 12, 2009

There is a podiatrist in the lobby of my apartment buildin, who works Monday thru Saturday, which means sometimes while I am waiting for my elevator, I see patients come in and out of there. Since most of them are elderly, I make it a point to say good morning/good afternoon, hold the door, and then wish them a good day. I would do the same things for my grandparents, and as far as I'm concerned, elderly folks are an extension of them. My parents are headed towards wearing the elderly title, and one day soon, I will be there as well, so it's little skin off my back to be polite.

This morning, as I got back from my morning swim, there were three older black ladies coming from the podiatrist. They were all walking with canes, they were all moving slowly, and they all looked like they had visited the hairdresser VERY recently. All three ladies said good morning to me, and I returned the favor. Right before the first lady walked in front of me, I pushed the button to the elevator, and I waited. The second woman said, "Good morning young man", and again I returned the favor. As the third woman walked by with her good morning salutations, the elevator door opened, and I got ready to walk towards the elevator, when out of nowhere the third woman stopped to dig in her purse. This is where the trouble began..

Because I was in a hurry to catch the elevator before it went back up, as soon as the last woman had walked a millimeter past me, I headed towards the door, or at least I tried to. But when she stopped abruptly, it caused me to accidentally (and i do mean accidentally) brush my hand right up against her ass. As soon as this happened, I jerked my hand away, apologized profusely by touching her shoulder, and I had to let the elevator door go, since clearly a more elaborate apology was in order. The following conversation went down:

Her: Young man are you getting fresh with me?
Me: Not at all ma'am, I didn't realize you were going to stop, I'm so sorry
Her: Well why were you so close to me anyway?
Me: I was trying to catch the elevator door, again, I am so sorry
Her: And then you touched my shoulder on top of that
Me: That was just part of my apology, I
Her (interrupting): I just don't understand why you have to touch me at all, just apologize and be on your way
Me: I'm sorry ma'am
Her: What is wrong with you?
Me: I don't know, it was an accident, I assure you

The other two ladies she was with were giving me the dirtiest of looks, and as the woman who I touched walked towards them she said, "Did you see what he did to me?". I just put my head down and walked on the elevator. It'll be my luck that their kids or grand kids will hear about this story in a couple hours, and come back here to rough me up...There's a part of this that's hilarious, but I must admit I feel bad too.

Heatwave - Star of a Story


Truth About It said...

Hey ... at least you brought a smile to the people reading this.

And while she gave you the stink face then, she probably later bragged about how such a young man was interested in her biscuits. Ha!

sixfive said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA! That is funny man. This could only happen to you or Larry David.

"and then you touched my shoulder on top of that"

These women were 70+ I assume?

maxwellsmusze said...

rashad likes em 8-80, blind, crippled or crazy!

rashad said...

these women were AT LEAST 70+