Thursday, October 08, 2009

Two months ago, while I was on vacation in Miami, I bought my first ever pair of sunglasses. Despite the obvious benefit of preventing the deadly sun from penetrating my eyes and making me blind as all get out, I really had not seen the benefit of making such a purchase. But the sun in Miami was relentless, and my lady convinced me that I could no longer walk around squinting like a crazy person. I made the purchase, and amazingly, I could not part with the damn glasses. When I got up in the morning, I'd grab my keys, my beach towel, my flip flops and my sunglasses. I kept them while was on the beach, while I ate, and even as it was crystal clear that dusk was coming, I still kept them on my tanned face. That's how important they were.

But once I returned from vacation I was unsure how I would incorporate them into my everyday life. The DC sun does not hold a candle to the one in Miami. And during my walks to and from work, the sun really isn't a major issue, especially in the colder months. Occasionally on the weekend its necessary for me to wear them, but even when I do that, I feel like a pretentious ass. I'd much rather squint.

This morning when I left out of my apartment, the sun jumped up and hit me right between the eyes. I mean as SOON as I opened the door, I was on squint mode, and I literally said "damn" out loud. I kept up this ridiculous squinting for about 10 more minutes while I walked, until finally it hit me that I was carrying my sunglasses in my briefcase (along with my rhymes, crackers and some fruit). I pulled them out, put them on my face and instantly I felt like a superhero. I had a pep in my step, the music I was listening to sounded better, and all was well with the first.

But then I starting noticing people roll their eyes at me dismissively. At first I thought it was in my mind, but I noticed a few people looking at me in a friendly, good morning kind of way, and then they quickly rolled their eyes and shunned me when they saw my spectacular sunglasses. Instantly I had a Luke Skywalker in the cave moment, and I thought to myself, damn I have become one of those people. I am walking to work in a non Miami environment with sunglasses on at 7am. After the fourth or fifth person walked by me, I took the sunglasses off, and resume my more natural squinting disposition...And then I was like you know what? F**k them, and f**k this, I am putting them back on..and that's exactly what I did. The sad truth is no one probably noticed either way, but I'm not believing that.


Sab D said...

Once you start wearing them joints on top of your head - your cool is in immediate danger. If you couple that with a shirt with the collar up - your cool points will be revoked. And I you add some skinny jeans - forever damned, cool becomes eternally unredeemable.

So sunglasses on or off - you good. On top of the head ... Me & Jamal going to have to corner you like Deniro & Pesci did Ray liotta in goodfellas. Instead saying "you gotta go home" - we'll be like "you gotta take dem sh--s off"

rashad said...

I know that EXACT goodfellas scene you're talking about Sab, and that's hilarious

sixfive said...

I have the same debate...walking down the street, even now in September sometimes I'm squinting constantly. The situation requires sunglasses.. I have a pair that I broke recently (ones in my avatar) but I always felt like people were looking at me when I had em on, so I didnt wear them all the time. I got a new pair a couple weeks ago and I will for damn sure be wearing them when I go to New Orleans this weekend.

GemEnigma said...

Rashad. That is hilarious. Now you see why they call 'em "Hater Blockers". Don't let 'em steal your SHIIIIINE! LMAO