Thursday, November 05, 2009

What I am about to explain may be ignorant to some, and offensive to others so let me offer a fake apology to anyone I may offend.

This morning the train was unusually crowded considering I was going to work 30 minutes earlier than usual. When the train finally stopped, the entrance I chose was especially crowded, and to make things worse there were about 5 people who had to get on the train before me, so I had to patiently wait. But when I looked towards the front of the line, I noticed that everyone was only entering the train on the right side, because a man was standing on the left side of the entrance. Upon closer examination, I noticed that this man was not only reading the paper (god bless him because newspapers are dying), but he was holding the paper so far out, that you couldn't get on the train without running into his paper. The 5 people in front of me, I guess not wanting to cause any type of fracas or brouhaha, just walked around this guy. Their decision to do so a) annoyed the sh*t out of me and b) almost caused me to miss getting in the train.

Now before I explain what I did, allow to give a bit of background on my mind state. I got to work at 7:30am yesterday, I left at 5, headed to the Verizon Center for the Wizards/Heat game(read the game notes), then I left the Verizon Center at 11:10 pm, got home, snacked, got in the bed at 12:45am, and went to sleep at 1:30am. So I'm already cranky and sleepy, but thanks to this Jacksons song, I was in a good mood..that is until this guy ruined it.

So instead of walking around this guy as the previous train passengers had done, I walked right into the newspaper, knocked it down on the ground, and then stepped on it for good measure. Mind you, as I did this, I took my bag off my arm, because I fully expected some kind of conflict whether it be a push, a punch or something, and I wanted to brace myself so I could evade his blow, and then watch as he failed to do the same to mine. But, this guy did no such thing. He looked around, spread his arms wide, and then...

Him: What the f**k dude?
Me: What's wrong?
Him: You walk into my f**king paper, and you stand there and don't say sorry or excuse me or anything? that's classy
Me: That's exactly what I did
Him: You're an a**hole man
Me: I know, but I'm an a**hole who is not blocking the door
Him (bending over to pick up his paper): All you had to do is say excuse me and I'd gotten out of the f**king way, that's how adults act, if you didn't know
Me: You want me to help you pick your paper, or do you have it?
Him: Yeah that's real sincere pal
Me: I do my very best

So at this point, the other 20 or so passengers in the vicinity are either a) wishing we'd shut the hell up or b) getting ready to put up money to see who is going to win this fight. Luckily for all parties involved, my train ride is all of five minutes. I got off the train, but the other did not, so as I left, I gently touched his shoulder and said, "Excuse me slugger, I just wanna get by..". He said, "F**k you pal!", and I told him to have a bless-ed day.

Now, it is entirely possible that I handled that incorrectly and in an immature fashion. But damn it felt good. And he violated the unwritten etiquette rules. One (un)good deed deserved another.


Jazzbrew said...

You're my hero.

Nothing burns me more than people who are inconsiderate on a crowded train. Putting their stuff in seats making others stand, not moving out the damn way... I could go on.

I would have done the same thing depending on how big he was. Horn players can't take shots to the mouth.

rashad said...

you're absolutely right, we saw what happened to bleek gilliam once he took that lip shot...

maxwellsmusze said...

dear god,

please keep rashad off metro.

on a related note, my metro beef is the people who carry backpacks that are stuffed and stick out 3 feet from their backs. any ideas on how to knocks those on the floor?

rashad said...

you cannot knock those bags to the floor, but you can unzip one or all of the pockets, and steal things.

soft and subtle said...

Maxwellsmusze, I loved your plea to God (very funny) but why would you ask Rashad for assistance..... you know he's the devil in disguise. lol Rashad, that entry was so funny; you're going to get me fired laughing at your ass. I'm glad you reacted in that manner; that guy deserved it and he looked more immature by using derogatory language. Rashad, you're on a roll...

sixfive said...

you kill me with this stuff man... it's great. I gotta wonder, how many fights a year do you get into? I'm sure people are generally surprised when you call them on shit, so I'm guessing very few.

rashad said...

I've yet to get into a fight...keep your fingers crossed

sixfive said...

I will.. I think your mix of boldness, politeness and control works for you.