Monday, December 14, 2009

I am entering into my toughest gift giving season ever, and it has me stressed the hell out. I know people say giving gifts is not what this season is about, and frankly I agree. I tell everyone not to get me anything, because my birthday is on January 20th (that's an early plug), not December 25th. I have no problems being that one friend/relative that doesn't get a gift, because I won't care; however, if you are my friend/relative, and my birthday comes and goes, without a gift, some cash, a card or some acknowledgment that I've turned 35, there's hell to pay. I digress..

Not everyone subscribes to gift-free Christmas theory, so I have to begin (at this late date) the gift process, and it is just impossible for me this year. Allow me to break the cast of characters and explain

My girlfriend
I have never been with a woman for more than a year, let alone three, which is how long I've been with my lady. Usually, I have great ideas for one calendar year, and then I'm out the door, on to the next woman. That means for a good while, I just recycled the same briliant ideas without anyone ever realizing I was re-gifting. The fact that I'm with someone I actually love combined with the fact that this is year three, means that I have to do dig deep into my creativity bag. It's not impossible, but its a challenge.

My mother
When she was married (either to my dad or her second husband) it was easy to get a gift for my mother. I would just call up the man in her life, ask him what he was NOT going to get, and BOOM, a Christmas gift was in her hand like clockwork. Now, aside from flowers, I am clueless as to what I should get my mother. Everyone tells me to just ask her, but where's the imagination in that? I want to surprise, shock and awe her, but to be honest, I have no clue what gets 57 year old women hyped up at Christmas time. Plus I'm not around her enough to get subtle hints.

My dad
Now my father is a unique case. Because he's going on 60, he doesn't buy new clothes. In fact, I wouldn't be going out on a limb by saying my father has not worn anything purchased after the year 2000. That doesn't mean that new and improved clothing has not been bought for him, because it has. But when he gets in a crunch, he leans on the 80s clothing that has held him down for so long. He has music that he purchased in '04 that he's yet to listen, exercise equipment he hasn't used, etc. I wanted to buy a Temptations poster for him and frame it, but he did that himself back in August. I have no idea what will make him happy at this point. And if I knew what I was getting my lady and my mother, this would be no big deal. But for me to be clueless on all three is just a clusterf**k of a situation.

Notice my brother and my friends don't make this list. They know that I love them, but not enough to get a gift. This has been the case for quite some time, no need in changing it up now. It's tradition.

Just kidding Jamal, that Chris Brown cd you want is en route..

And if you want to listen to me and my main man Ryan talk about basketball-related topics, click here.


soft and subtle said...

Okay Mobley, I’m going to help you out with this situ-a-tion. Your mother is a woman of God and if she loves the Whispers, they have a new CD called “Thankful”. This is the Whisper’s first gospel CD; my mother purchased it for my father and he can’t stop playing it…. He loves it. This may be a wonderful gift for your father as well. Also, you can always get your mom clothes (that’s always a winner); a new purse from a well known company (i.e. Dooney & Bourke, Coach, and etc.)…. Actually, I would get your mom a lovely purse and put the CD inside, so that’s two gifts in one. As for the ladyfriend, diamonds are a girl’s best friend. A nice diamond necklace, tennis bracelet, or “ring” would do the trick. This would be something she could wear everyday and think of you when wearing it. She would also love a purse; again, you can purchase the purse and place the diamonds inside….just a thought. Your dad’s a business man, so I would purchase a pair of really nice dress shoes (I mean something you would see Sean John or Jay Z sporting) and some “GQ” ties. Again, if your dad’s a Whisper’s fan; he would love the new CD as well. Hope this helps and whatever you decide to get, they’re going to love it anyway because it came from you. Merry Christmas Mobley….

rashad said...

The Whispers? come on man. Your other suggestions are fine and I appreciate them. But the Whispers? really?