Friday, January 22, 2010

Let's talk cards shall we? And this is not me making another attempt to slyly mention that I had a birthday two days ago, so that you bastards who forgot to show me love can do that now. That's simply not what Rashad is about. I'm about being humble and occasionally sliding the third person into the discussion. But I do want to talk about cards, and not just of the birthday variety.

I cannot lie, I judge people who buy me cards, put my name at the top, let Hallmark do the heavy lifting, and then sign their name at the bottom. I know they say its the thought that counts, and I know there are many people who don't even take the effort to buy cards, let alone just sign their name on them..I get all that. But you don't get a pass for reading someone else's words, buying them, and then passing them off as some sort of sincere gesture. I know a girl who did that for her college thesis, and it was called plagiarism (a bit of a stretch, but work with me).

Unless you're buying a card for a co-worker who you really don't like, but are obligated to get something for anyway, you should ideally buy a blank card. And if the spacious nature of a blank card is too intimidating for your unimaginative ass, then buy a card with just once blank side. Surely you can muster up a few passionate sentences of your own about the person you are spending $1.99 on right? That way when they read the card, they can see the words of Hallmark's finest on one side, and your words on the other. They may even compare and contrast the two statements. Its not as good as giving (insert your own numerical value)% and using all of your words, but it shows that you realize your limitations, yet you still chose to extend yourself a bit. Is that too hard? (that's what he said).

Again, I'm not just an ungrateful, snobby bastard here, because I practice what I preach. When I buy cards, I make sure they are of the blank variety, so I can ramble on and on about how important that person is to me. In fact, if you're reading this, and I've given you a card with cheesy Hallmark drivel strewn all about, it means that I don't really like you. But if I've given you a blank card with my sub par penmanship, and heartfelt words, you know that I place you in high regard.


Jazzbrew said...

Hilarious (and your card is in the mail).

soft and subtle said...

Well, I've never received any of the above.... so I guess I never existed. Mobley, you're one of a kind, personality wise and the entry was quite funny.

Chubbs said...

I agree with you...nothing says "happy birthday/anniversary/whathaveyou" like your own words from the heart--but what about all those Hallmark employees? What would they do if all cards went blank? :-) I once got offered an internship at Hallmark--but I didn't accept it b/c the office was in Kansas City. I often think I would have like to be a card writer--since i'm so naturally sappy.

Happy (belated) Birthday!