Thursday, January 28, 2010

So this weekend, my son will be in town to spend a little time with me. I really wanted him to stay until Tuesday (the day of the field trip I'll be chaperoning here in DC), but I was advised that he should travel with the rest of his classmates. I still may overrule that, but I need to give it some thought. But above and beyond that, there is a bigger issue at hand, and that is his wardrobe.

My son is in the midst of a growth spurt, which means all his glorious winter clothes that his mother and I had the foresight to purchase in October are now a bit snug. And even though the cold weather will only be around two more months at best, I don't want my son going to school dressed like Common in 2002. Now, the last time I got clothes for my son, he was very passive about the whole experience. He would choose a shirt here, a pair of slacks there, and maybe some jeans. The only part of the process he was adamant about, was the tennis shoes, which made my job easy. Not so much this time around.

My son is already lobbying for a certain type of clothes (I purposely forgot what kind he said), and he made a point to tell me that he knows what he wants. The only problem is at 12 years old, I'm not quite sure he's earned the right to have that much input. I know he's in jr. high, I know the pressure to be hip clothes-wise is great, but he's still going to school and I still feel like schools (whether they actively enforce it or not) should have a certain level of decorum. I feel a slight power struggle with my son coming on, and I recognize this, because my father and I went thru the same thing back in '87-88. I lost that power struggle badly. I think I should crush my son in the same fashion. Tastefully done of course.

Sadly, I dont even know how a 12 going on 13 year old should dress these days. A nice shirt and some slacks? A nice shirt and jeans? How baggy should the jeans be? Should they even wear jeans to school? I'm just clueless, and I only know how I WANT him to dress, but I don't know if that will be sufficient. The only thing that will NOT happen is the whole saggy, pants off your ass look. Even my son knows how juvenile that is..although curiously, men twice his age can't seem to grasp how asinine that looks.

I'm babbling horribly right now.

13 comments:

Janelle said...

Look at the what the kids are whereing in your neighborhood. My mother was lucky I wore a uniform so there wasn't too much wiggle room in what I wore to school. But when we did go shopping she would grant me ONE (maybe 2) items from the stores/designers I begged for. I think thats a happy compromise. And yes, no pants on the ground. I forbid it!! hahahaha

rashad said...

I don't know if the kids in my neighborhood are the best barometers, but i'll check them out. And I will let that alternate spelling of "wearing" slide...

joshua a washington. said...

man. reading about your interaction with your son...and even more your father...was such an grabbing image this morning. reminiscing on how you father "crushed" your power struggle and your ability now to continue in that fashion...in all of it's seriousness and playfulness is just a beautiful. with all that said...lol...

i have no clue what the kids wear these days...not that you asked for advice...lol...but i have to agree with janelle's suggestion....but i do want to ask you this...how much of an individual, if he so desires it, do you want him to be able to be in regards to his fashion sense? i mean within the restrictions you have?

(aside: the woes of jr. high fashion *flashback*)

£ said...

man i don't envy you that task. my goddaughter is 14 and was given some cash and the freedom to buy some clothes for school... her dad had to pull rank when he saw how lowrise some of her jeans were. lol

that said aren't dudes wearing skinny jeans now? Not that I'm condoning these denim tourniquets, but when i pay attention to the youth around here that seems to be de mode. The emo rapper look. skinny jeans, smedium shirts... apparently, circulation is no longer "cool".

just go to your local mall and head to pacsun and american eagle...

. said...

addendum: i love common's look circa 2002. lol

rashad said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Miss. Lady said...

A nice shirt or sweater and jeans would be cool. I really don't like to see skinny jeans on any one especially boys/men so I usually buy relaxed fit jeans for the boys; it is not to tight and not to baggy but they have a little room for growth in them.

If you can pick out a few different looks for him and see what looks best on him in the store before you buy it.

amy said...

I think getting his thoughts on his wardrobe is a nice gesture. It may even lead to an opportunity for compromise (i.e., being the 'good guy' dad)... you know, come at it really hard like, "no, you're going to wear this..." And then you act like you compromised when you knew all along you were going to bend on something. Haha.


p.s. common's look circa 2002: no, no thank you. not for a kid.

Sab D said...

"Dad, can I get the skinny jeans & the smedium sweater?"

dawg, remeber when you were to big for boys but too small for men's & you had to wear "husky"? WTH!!!

What if you allot him a percentage of what you intend to spend maybe 12%? Then he has some ownership, some say but then must submit to the choice of his cool dad. My dad got me by hyping the notion of not looking like everyone else & being orginal. So everyone else had "used" jeans & I had suits looking like Crockett & Tubbs ...

Good luck man

rashad said...

sab,
the way trends are going now, if i put him in a crockett/tubbs suit, he'd be ahead of his time.

and thank you miss lady for your advice

rashad said...

josh,
I definitely want him to be individual, just as long as its "reasonable". As he gets older, i'll ease up I suppose

Lex,
I dont even know what pacsun is..and my son's build isn't exactly skinny jeans friendly..he's a football player.

scout said...

ohhh, good luck with that. You must remember my post about the Under Armour shirts my son was campaigning for? He lost most of the battles he tried to wage with us, but we (I) caved and bought him two of those ridiculous workout shorts since he agreed that they'd only be for working out. Later on I discovered that he was wearing them to school under his hoody :( Anyway, just know that whatever you end up buying him, he's GOING to tweak it to his satisfaction. And he may not ever wear some stuff so try to compromise since you can't monitor his dress every day. Don't want your money going to waste.

scout said...

lol @ sab and "husky"