Wednesday, May 26, 2010

I stand steadfast in my desire to avoid starting a "countdown to marriage" blog, because I know that there will be days (just like there are on this blog), where I have absolutely nothing to add. And what's the point of starting yet another blog, if it will barely be populated with new and exciting information. I know people who don't who don't hold this concept in high regard in their blogs, but I won't call them out. But I digress...

Today I actually do have something wedding related to share, and its all about friends and family. As you may or may not know, my lady and I will be having a small wedding, and when I say small, I do mean small (20-25 people). Its not that we don't have more friends and family that we love and care about, but we'd like to keep the irritability levels low to non-existent. We want parents, siblings, old friends, and my son. That's it, that's the list.

But before the lady and I decided to keep it small and simple, there was a point where we were trying to cast a much wider net of friends and family. And unfortunately when you do something like that, you have to divide your friends and families into categories, which help to rationalize their inclusion or exclusion from the bless-ed union. So here are my friends and families categories

Halley's Comet Group
If you don't know what Halley's Comet is, then your school system has failed you, and Wikipedia is your enabler. These are friends and family members that you talk to every 2 (or more) years. You have their number, their email address, their physical address, and the memories of when you saw and spoke more often, but that's not enough for you to step the frequency with which you speak. When you do talk, the conversations are a good 15-20 minutes tops. You update each other, you make false promises to meet up and stay in touch, and then there's a deep sigh of relief when the phone is away from your ear. These people will not get a wedding invite.

Prostate Exam Group
This group is dedicated to the KY jellied, ensconced in latex, fingers that my doctor inserts in me annually. Keep doing your thing! Anyway these are people who you talk to or see once a year. When you talk to them on the phone, you have 1-2 hour conversations that are just action packed and filled with laughs. When you see these people in person, the same good vibes are extended, and you all look at each other and say (to yourselves), "Damn, why don't I hang with this person more?". When you separate, you make plans to hang more and you really mean it, but something always comes up, and then you all just fade into Bolivian until the next time. These folks get wedding invites if it can be combined with that one time you see them.

WWW Group
70-80% of your correspondence with this group, occurs in front of a home or work computer or laptop. You trade jokes, you get advice, you vent, you listen to problems, and you share politically incorrect thoughts and desires. When you log off you don't even realize that you have not been in the physical presence of that person, because you've covered every damn thing. In high school, this was the person you spent time on the phone with for hours and hours for no good reason. Now, the wonders of the internets allow you to just type, hit send and wait for the inbox to refresh. Its tough to exclude these folks from the wedding, I wont even lie. In fact, if I was having at 50-60 people wedding, some of these folks would be there.

These are friends who you met after college, but before you met your fiancee. Or these are family members who you weren't close with until you got a little older. These are groups of people who have seen you at various stages of growth in your 20s and 30s, and they know a good deal about you. Unfortunately, this group suffers the most when you are in a serious relationship, because the levels of accessibility change, and it sucks. If my wedding was 30-40 people, this group would definitely be attendance as well

Gold Club
These are the people who have known me for 15 years of more, and have seen it from pre-puberty, to puberty, to high school, to my college years. Of all the groups I've listed, they can appreciate the journey from boy to man to husband the most. These are the people I call when I get into a jam, and they pretty much do the same for me, which is why their attendance in a 20-25 person wedding is ideal. Everyone I am inviting (except for my son of course) fits into this category.

There I got it out. This entry will also serve as the official answer to the question, "Well why wasn't I invited?".

Friends and Strangers - Ronnie Laws


Notorious Kim said...

20-25 sounds like the perfect number to me.

Miss. Lady said...

Wedding planning is stressful so I don't blame you for having a small wedding. I vowed my next marriage I will go away...I am too old to have my hair falling out in clumps again due to wedding planning stress.

£ said...

lol I love your categories. and i agree with notorious kim, 20-25 people sounds perfect.

this is the part of wedding planning that "scares" me, for lack of a better word, the blasted guest list! sometimes eloping sounds like the best option. Of course then i'd have to deal with my mom wanting to kill me. but she'd get over it. i hope.

anyways, the small, intimate nuptials is what's up! rock on :)

Jazzbrew said...

If I invite you over for a cookout, serve Chick-fil-a AND play some Ron Carter... will that cut down on the 15 year time requirement for Gold Club membership?

rashad said...

If you do that, you get the Gold club membership, you pass Go, and you collect $200!

spirit_55 said...

Love the categories, Rashad. As My Lady's mom, I'm so glad I'm in the Gold Club!