Wednesday, June 09, 2010

You know there are days when I wake up and think about possible topics to blog about, and I have absolutely nothing to say. This doesn't happen too often, but when it does, it gnaws at me all day that I could not find a single, solitary thing to write about. But I get over it of course.

And then I have days like today when I start off with nothing to say, and then the blog gods put something wonderful in my lap and ask me to run with it. And run with it I will.

When I walked out of my apartment building this morning, I noticed two women giggling and talking loudly about something, but I really didn't pay too much attention about what it ws. I was busy trying to untangle my IPOD headphones so I could listen to the Tony Kornheiser Show en route to work. I finished untangling, I placed the headphones on my ears, and I hit play on my IPOD. And it was at that exact moment when I remembered that one of my headphones was out, and I forgot to buy new ones yesterday. But instead of taking off my headphones and walking to work in silence, I decided to power through with one headphone working. I was an aural Slick Rick if you will.

So because only one earphone was functional, I heard way more of the outside world than I usually do, and I thought I was about to be annoyed with these two women talking loudly. Then I got wind of what they were talking about, and just went ahead and turned the Kornheiser show off (I kept the headphones on though). This is the conversation I heard (keep in mind this conversation happened about 30 minutes before I'm actually writing this, so I may have some things wrong, but not many). Also keep in mind, I clearly caught this conversation in the middle of a story..

Girl 1: So why was he so mad, I don't understand why that's a big deal
Girl 2: He told me he's used to people swallowing, and I was like whatever, I'm not swallowing that sh*t
Girl 1: I mean sometimes I do, sometimes I don't, but I always at least catch it, and then spit it out later, but I've never had a guy make a huge deal about it
Girl 2: I didn't even do that, he said he was about to finish, so I just stopped and jerked him off
Girl 1: I mean I can kind of understand why he'd be irritated if he's used to othe girls doing more, but he shouldn't have been mad at you
Girl 2: Well he was mad, and he still tried to f**k me, and I was like uhh no, what the hell, it doesn't work like that

Now at this point, I had already walked past the train station I needed to be headed towards, and given the direction they were headed, I was about to be taken WAY out of my normal path. I had to decide whether to be creepy for at least 5-10 more minutes and discreetly follow these people, or just run with the info I already had, and thank my lucky stars I had heard this much. I thanked my lucky stars and headed towards the train station

Whoever this guy was that raised a big fuss over this woman's substandard closing ceremonies, went about things all wrong. If this woman didn't finish him the right way, he should have kindly asked her to do it the next time, and if she refused, then he could ask why she frowned on it and maybe sway her. If that didn't work, he could "accidentally" forget to warn her of the sexual eruption that's on its way (which is wrong I know, but hey, these things happen) Or he could just decide that he would go elsewhere for the kind satisfaction he truly wants--although that could be problematic if these two lovebirds are in a relationship. But getting mad at someone a few minutes before you plan to start blending, is not the way to go....unless you're the kind of couple that thrives on that type of drama, but obviously that's not what we had here.

To be honest, I could give a goddamn what that background story was, whether anyone was inconvenienced or how much someone is swallowing. The fact that I could hear this on the way to work, was more than golden..more than was so money. And I do declare, it was the second greatest sexual situaton I've ever witnessed/heard, then discussed in this blog. The first, by FAR, was the time I read a text message about a handjob. That was a great day.

Anyway, here is the podcast of Ryan and I talking about last night's NBA Finals Game. I hope you are listening to these midnight discussions, but if you aren't, I hope you are at least watching these games. Its great drama. As was this.

If anyone has a downloadable link of the song I've linked below, would you mind emailing to me at: I'd really appreciate, because I can't find this damn song anywhere except youtube.


Redbonegirl97 said...

LMAO, that is too funny. What a nice morning convo to have while heading to work.

Peace, Love and Chocolate

Grant-Grey Guda said...

You have an amazing blog, it is really very awesome, if you’re interested here is the link to my blog of poetry, it would be awesome if you could check it out and follow if you like.

Or my facebook page

Hoping you have a wonderful week filled with inspiration and laughter,