Wednesday, July 21, 2010

I first heard my parents having sex on Christmas morning of 1986, while I was living in Connecticut. I was 11 years old, and I was anticipating some quality gifts that year, so I got up around 8am, and my intent was to knock on my parents door, to gently nudge them towards getting up and giving me (and my brother) presents. Well apparently they were up already, and they were giving each other their own presents, because the sounds I heard coming out of there were deeply disturbing. They were also similar to the sounds I had heard and seen on Playboy after dark (that channel was accessible after 8pm..shout out to the Connecticut cable company for that). My brother asked me what was going on, and I just whisked him away and told him to relax.

I don't remember being traumatized by any of this, I just knew my parents loved each other, and this was one way they showed each other that. In my mind, I was less concerned about the sex, and more worried about when my damn gifts were going to be in my hands. About an hour later, I did get my gifts, and this soccer game was the centerpiece. Good times.

That being said, I think my son heard me doing the dirty deed last night, and I can't even feel bad. My brother has been staying with me while he finishes his job in MD before permanently moving to NY, my son has been here the several few days, and the Crimson Tide was in town this month. All this adds up to limited opportunities to make the magic happen (I know this is TMI, so if you bail right now, you'll be spared). But last night, such an opportunity presented itself, and after trying to get things accomplished quietly for the first half of the bless-ed event, we eventually just had to go for ours and hope he was sleep.

When we emerged from the room, Carlton appeared to be sleep, but if he's a smart child like I think he is, he was faking that, to avoid being caught or embarrassed. I hope that a)he didn't hear us b)if he did hear us, he's not traumatized, and c)he doesn't go home and tell his mother that his father and his wife-to-be are sex-crazed maniacs. Besides, he and I have had THE sex talk many times, so this should not come as a complete shock. The way I see it, this is all part of the initiation process of being a child, and we've all gone thru it. Haven't we?

I really wasn't going to write this, but it was just too good to pass up (that's what she said). Besides, the alternative was me writing about how difficult it is to have quiet sex, but that's a bit much. I hate to celebrate my 4 year blogging anniversary with an entry like this, but hey...


LittleTortilla stays in DC said...

I had to give condoms to my 16 year old nephew this weekend. There were cellphone pics that necessitated my actions.

rashad said...

oh damn..i won't even ask what kind of photos..